Kathy Valentine is the author of the new memoir All I Ever Wanted. A member of the famed all-female band The Go-Gos, she is based in Texas.
Q: In the book, you say of the idea of writing a memoir, “I
had to write it, moved by a force very different from the one behind all the
songs and music written and played throughout my career.” Can you say more
about what compelled you to write the book?
A: I felt I had a
compelling story to tell, and that it was important to get women in music and
rock and roll stories out there. And in terms of the greater context: what made
me go into music, and the context of the band’s success.
Women musicians talking about music is not common—I talk
about my influences, how I felt about playing music, what it was like to go on
stage, and to feel empowered for the first time.
There was also the other side. I was very interested in
exploring being a writer further. I felt my initial book had to be a memoir, a
story only I could tell. I felt it would open the door to my being perceived
and accepted as a writer.
Q: You describe the musician Suzi Quatro as an influence on
you—what impact did she have on your life and career?
A: Since the book’s been out, it’s coincided with a
magnification of her own role in music. She had a documentary out, and we’ve
become friends. It’s been a wonderful outcome.
She was the one who showed me women could be musicians in a
band. I hadn’t seen that. With the advent of the internet and YouTube I learned
there were a lot of bands in the ‘60s [that included women]. It’s not like
there weren’t, but it wasn’t part of my knowledge [at the time]. Women were
either front people or rock singers or folk singers.
I was aware of Heart, but mostly it was the guy doing the
rock and roll stuff. There were women, but they were not doing what I wanted,
until I saw Suzi Quatro.
Q: How would you describe your relationship with your four
bandmates during the time you write about? Are you in touch with them now?
A: We were just on a Zoom call doing an interview for a
documentary. I’ve been out of the band for almost five years. I was fired, and
we’d gone through a lengthy and terrible divorce.
Most people would think I’d be writing a hit piece, but that
wasn’t what I wanted to write. I felt that whatever was happening now, I wasn’t
going to let it destroy the celebrity and the achievements we had. We let it go
and moved forward. There had been a lot of toxicity and dysfunction.
We’re in touch almost daily with the documentary coming out,
and a tour might happen next summer, I’m not sure. We’re in a very good place.
When I wrote the book, I was not in the group but that did not affect my
feelings about what this band was. I wasn’t going to let what happened in 2012
poison what happened in the 1980s.
Q: You also recount your experiences with addiction. What do
you hope readers take away from that aspect of the book?
A: For a while, I was active on Facebook. On my sober
anniversary I would write something about my sobriety. It got hundreds of
responses and I’ve had dozens of private messages over the years from people
saying it helped them.
I knew that talking about getting clean and sober had an
effect, and it was a very important part of my story. Me being a changed
person—for the story arc, that had to happen. I came out changed, and sobriety
was the impetus for my change. It was very important to write about that, and
it ended the arc of the story very well. I got to do the Go-Gos again in a more
mature way without all the craziness.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify
for you?
A: I didn’t have a title for a while. It drove me crazy.
When I write a song, the title is the lighthouse, keeping it on track. I was
keeping a list of titles, and that was one of them. It’s a line from my biggest
hit, “Vacation,” and all I ever wanted was to be in a band, to be a musician,
to be part of a sisterhood.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: As soon as Covid started, I thought I’d start my next
book. I wasn’t sure what to write—I wanted to write a second memoir. I felt I
have another compelling story. That is in the works. I’ve started writing with
that in mind.
Recently I started looking at a collection of short stories
I’ve done over 10 years. I’m feeling very excited and motivated for that to be
the next book, and I would like that [also] to be a soundtrack. I loved making
the soundtrack to the memoir. I like to keep that literary-musical drive.
There’s definitely enough to get me started on shaping them.
I need to do a proposal and pitch it to a publisher. The memoir was
well-received, and I’m hoping with one book under my belt, I’d get consideration
for this—and that [the memoir] would establish that there’s a legitimacy to my
writing ambitions. It’s not just mining my own life.
The main thing is that it makes me feel excited. I can’t wait to work on it!
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I would like to tell people is that you don’t have to be
a Go-Gos fan to relate to the book. I wrote the book from the idea of a
literary memoir, for someone who likes that genre. I urge readers who are fans
of the genre not to discount it. And I hope Go-Gos fans like it too!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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