Q&A with Amy Mass

  

 

 

Amy Mass is the author of the new novel Reality Bites. She was a TV writer in Los Angeles, and she now lives in Georgia.

 

Q: What inspired you to write Reality Bites, and how did you create your character Grace?

 

A: Reality Bites is my love/hate letter to the city of Los Angeles and reality television.

 

When I moved from New York City to LA to work as a television writer, I quickly deemed Reality TV as my enemy. I hated that the comedies I put so much time and effort into creating were competing for timeslots and viewership with shows that were (gasp) unscripted.

 

Then I met my future husband. He had been watching shows like The Bachelor and Big Brother for decades. I refused to watch them with him until he realized that if he turned it into a game, I’d be into it.

 

So, we started Big Brother and The Bachelor/The Bachelorette Fantasy Leagues with our friend group. We made up a complex scoring matrix where you get bonus points for kissing, hooking up, and particularly savage disses, and we hosted finale parties with prizes for the winners. 

 

As we drafted players, there became a running joke that my team would never win because I “draft with my heart and not my head” and that I always pick the “loveable losers and underdogs.”

 

But winning didn’t matter to me because I began to see these contestants as more than just members of my team but as characters who I started to care about, root for and name themed cocktails after.

 

It also made me think about what would happen if a normal person/underdog like me, who used to hate reality TV, was forced to go on a reality dating show. And the character of Grace was born.

 

Q: What do you see as the role of humor in your writing?

 

A: For me and my characters, humor is the way we express ourselves in difficult situations, and deal with uncomfortable feelings and the state of the world.

 

But through this book, I’ve learned that I can’t use comedy as a literary emotional crutch. When my agent, Samantha, read my first draft she pointed out that Grace was using jokes instead of feeling her feelings. It felt like I was talking to my therapist, but she was right. And now I will forever do a “feelings pass” in Sam’s honor. 

 

So, while I’m leaning into feelings more than ever, I still consider myself a “Com-Rom” writer. I will always love comedy for the escapism it gives us and the balm we need to get through tough times. If I can make just one person happier because of something I’ve written, I’ll feel like I’ve served my purpose.

 

Q: What do you think the novel says about the world of reality TV?

 

A: Several of my friends in LA work in reality TV, including a couple who were producers on the Bachelor and Bachelorette, so I interviewed them and got as much of the inside scoop as they were able to share.

 

I didn’t set out to write a take-down of reality TV or an exposé about the way contestants and crew are treated but it just made sense that Grace, who is always looking out for the underdog, would fight the good fight against injustices on set.

 

I think at this point, many of us have heard about what goes on behind the scenes and that reality TV isn’t “real,” so ultimately, I just hope Reality Bites serves as a positive reminder that, like social media, you shouldn’t hold yourself to the unrealistic and fabricated standards that you see on TV.  

 

Q: How would you describe the dynamic between Grace and her family members?

 

A: Grace is the black sheep in her family because she has a Ph.D. and doesn’t know how to use TikTok. In the beginning of the book, she’s judgy about her internet-famous family and underestimates them.

 

As the story unfolds, she realizes that she may have been too hard on them and maybe they weren’t the only ones not putting in enough effort into their relationships. This is a theme I really relate to - family may annoy the crap out of each other, but you’ll be there when it matters.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Putting the com in more rom-com novels! I also have a rom-com movie in development at Netflix and am working on three action-comedy movies at various stages of development. Like with Reality Bites, my hope is to give readers and viewers a fun break from reality.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: I have now watched and played Fantasy Big Brother, Fantasy Bachelorette, and Fantasy Bachelor for over 10 years. Through all those seasons, I have only won once. But that’s okay, because I will always root for the underdog. And when you meet Grace, I hope you will too.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Liv Mae Morris

  

Photo by Debra Marcus

 

 

Liv Mae Morris is the author of the new middle grade novel The Last Dragon House. She lives in Boston.

 

Q: What inspired you to write The Last Dragon House, and how did you create your characters Dr. Lady, Olly, and Jenny?

 

A: I came up with the idea for the book way back in 2016. I was in grad school for children’s literature at the time, so I was thinking a lot about what kinds of stories I loved and why.

 

Throughout my life, as a writer, I’ve always returned to dragons. I remember standing at the register in the grocery store I worked at and ruminating about how cool and interesting it is that dragons can basically look like anything.

 

The idea popped into my head of a kid who works in a house full of all different types of dragons. I grabbed a nearby paper bag and wrote the opening lines of the book. (I wish I still had that bag!)

 

Olly was the first human character I thought up, and Dr. Lady was the second.

 

Olly was easy to write. I knew exactly what kind of character I wanted him to be: reluctant to work, caring enough that he’ll do it anyway to help his family, curious and kind and accepting.

 

I also knew that he needed somebody odd and brilliant to introduce him to the world of dragons, and that was Dr. Lady. I loved her the second she appeared on the page, and as I wrote, she gained depth and a story of her own.

 

Jenny was a surprise. The first draft of the book was incredibly long and unwieldy and I felt stuck, so I started writing a scene featuring Olly’s little sister, who up until that point had been a very minor character. It quickly became clear to me that she needed to become an integral part of the story.

 

For her, I drew largely from my own childhood—like her, I was shy and always daydreaming, and I often felt like I didn’t quite fit in. Her synesthesia is also mine. I’m not a wizard, though, unfortunately.

 

Q: How did you create the world in which the novel is set?

 

A: A lot of it is pretty obviously inspired by the real world and real history, particularly labor rights movements in the United States and Europe.

 

The kingdom of Aldea, though, isn’t precisely either of those places; it has its own history, which is why it’s aesthetically and economically similar to the industrial revolution but socially closer to our present.

 

I’ve always adored Shrek, how it combines historical and fairytale elements with modern attitudes. I think that mix can be both profound and very funny. So that was the angle that I wanted to take. I tried to create a world that feels both grounded in reality and, sometimes, silly and exaggerated—for humor, to make a point, or both at the same time.

 

Q: The Kirkus Review of the novel says, “Humor and heart make the pages of this classic quest story fly.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: It’s kind of them to say! Pacing is something I struggle with. Sometimes I get bogged down in thematic and philosophical stuff, and my editor was really helpful in making sure the story kept moving without losing any of the heart. It’s always nice to hear somebody appreciates my sense of humor, too.

 

Q: Did you know how the novel would end before you started writing it, or did you make many changes along the way?

 

A: I wrote the first draft in late 2016 and early 2017 for my MFA program. As I mentioned earlier, it was long and messy; I was trying to cram too many ideas into one place.

 

In fact, it didn’t even really have an ending. I simply could not figure out how to wrap everything up without writing tens of thousands of more words. The last page of that Word document was just a bullet point list of things I might like to happen.

 

I believed it was unsalvageable, so I put it away for a long time. I thought about it occasionally, though, because the first third or so was actually quite good.

 

About six years later it occurred to me that that first chunk was its own book, and that the grand overarching story I had wrestled with could unfurl more gradually and naturally over the course of a series.

 

That’s when I finally decided to revise it. I cut almost everything from later in the draft and came up with a new ending to serve as both a satisfying finale and a jumping-off point for sequels.

 

So the current ending is very, very different from the original in that it exists at all, and also because it’s concluding one part of a larger story that will continue in future books.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I’m currently revising Book 2! Soon I’ll begin drafting Book 3.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: Nope! Thanks so much for your questions, and happy reading.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Ben Berman Ghan

  

 

 

 

Ben Berman Ghan is the author of the new story collection The Library Cosmic. His other books include The Years Shall Run Like Rabbits. He is a Ph.D. candidate in English and Creative Writing at the University of Calgary.

 

Q: Over how long a period did you write the stories in your new collection?

 

A: The stories in The Library Cosmic were largely written in 2022 and early 2023. But writing, and more importantly, rewriting, takes a long time. 

 

“The Church of The Hot Pink Jesus,” “The Resting Place of Trees,” and “Spectres of Bibliotheca” have all felt fairly finished and in their final form since then.

 

But the other three stories in the book, “The Library of Water,” “Wild Dream Country,” and “The Library Cosmic” itself, have all undergone many, many edits, many rewrites, as I travelled slowly towards the stories I truly wanted them to be.

 

Q: How was the book’s title--also the title of one of the stories--chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: The Library Cosmic is my coolest title. It was an easy pick for the collection for a few reasons. Libraries, the shelter of third spaces and community spaces, run through all the pieces of this book. The title story is also the longest story in the book (actually, it is a short novella).

 

The other significance of the title, for me, is an indirect little nod to the original king of comics, Jack Kirby. There are lots of nods to Kirby's work throughout the book, most obviously in the huge, strange, and mechanical giants that appear in different forms, inspired by such Kirby imagery as the The Celestials and Galactus from his work at Marvel Comics.

 

The title, The Library Cosmic, is another wink to Kirby's work, as "The Power Cosmic" is what Kirby and his collaborators gave to The Silver Surfer, a character that I adore in Kirby's illustrations.

 

Q: How did you decide on the order in which the stories would appear in the collection?

 

A: I just knew. The order never really changed! They aren't all chronological, but if you squint, and think hard, you can put it all together.

 

Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?

 

A: Libraries are for everyone. Community matters, and solidarity across time and space to other people in the struggle matter. The struggle is ongoing, and the enemy is colossal, but that doesn't mean we cannot beat them.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: So much! Primarily, my Ph.D. thesis, god help me. But I'm also sitting on two novels! One about a near-future Atlantis, a colossal submarine slowly sinking to the ocean floor, and a second about a far future space colony, set on the back of a huge jellyfish.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: We are sitting here in the muck of an era of book bans, and AI garbage, and disinformation. Take the time to make things for yourself, take the time to give what you can to the world.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

May 13

 

 

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY
May 13, 1907: Daphne du Maurier born.

Q&A with Rick Williams Sr.

  

 

Rick Williams Sr. is the author, with his grandsons, Brady and Caleb Williams, of the Dragon & Dinosaur Chronicles middle grade series, which includes Star Life Keepers and Orion Fire Storm. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Star Life Keepers?

 

A: Thirty years ago, I met a fellow entrepreneur, Ted Savas, in Silicon Valley. Ted was a lawyer but had established a publishing business to focus on his passion: Civil War books that preserved the legacy of firsthand accounts. I was interested in writing books, and Ted encouraged me to find some aspect of the war that had not been fully addressed.

 

I began collecting Civil War letters and diaries, mostly from common soldiers and lower-level officers. Serendipitously, I acquired the personal collection from Captain Patrick H. White, an uneducated Irish immigrant who had become captain of the elite Chicago Mercantile Battery. White and five of his artillerists had received the Medal of Honor for bravery during the Vicksburg Campaign in May 1863.

 

Edwin Bearss, the Chief Historian Emeritus of the National Park Service, took me under his wing and taught me how to research and write a book on this unknown military unit. I wrapped creative, narrative nonfiction around letters and diaries. Ted Savas supported us and published Chicago’s Battery Boys in 2005.

 

My next book featured my journals of a Prussian engineer, mapmaker, and artist whose great-grandson was Jim Henson, creator of The Muppets. Jim’s family assisted me, including introducing me to Jim’s mother.

 

During our two interviews, she told me stories about how Jim’s grandmother (her mother) had taught him to read classical literature and to paint. Using his grandmother’s training in the visual arts, Jim created Kermit the Frog at the age of 19.

 

Those stories inspired me to engage hands-on with my seven grandchildren, which led to the formation of Dragon & Dinosaur Chronicles.

 

I later spent a decade studying how to write thrillers, attending seven annual meetings of the International Thriller Writers, where bestselling authors taught fledgling authors how to craft suspense novels.

 

In 2018, I was almost done with my first international thriller when my oldest grandson, 8-year-old Brady, was inspired by my writing and proposed that we develop a book together.

 

Q: How did you and your grandson collaborate on the project?

 

A: In Stephen King’s landmark book On Writing, he postulates that authors are often like archaeologists who “uncover the bones of a story.” In my case, I needed to find out what kind of book Brady wanted to write.

 

After exploring his initial vision, I discovered that Brady wanted to leapfrog grade levels and write a middle-grade epic fantasy book based on his concept of Dragons & Dinosaurs. He developed his protagonists—Jason, Amanda, and Elisa—while I analyzed the careers of J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis to find out how they wrote their books.

 

I was a Lord of the Rings fan but had never read The Hobbit. Nor had I ever read the Chronicles of Narnia books.

 

After studying them, I moved on to the Game of Thrones series and began an in-depth evaluation of Brandon Sanderson’s work, listening to the first 16 years of his Writing Excuses how-to podcast. I worked my way through The Way of the Kings and Mistborn to Evil Librarians, the latter becoming an inspiration for our journey.

 

On January 8, 2021, at 8:57 p.m., I received the following text from Brady: “I finished the 1st book of Evil Librarians!!! I am so happy ”

 

Brady and I deconstructed the Evil Librarians series and followed Brandon Sanderson’s foundational principle—something familiar but something different—as we conceived our first book, Star Life Keepers.

 

Like Sanderson, we decided to provide frequent illustrations so young readers could better visualize what they were reading as they moved from chapter books to novels. I hired Prayan Animated Studios in India to create original artwork of creatures Brady invented, including the Dragon Girl, a Tiger Man, and a Flying Velociraptor.

 

Q: How did you create the world in which the story is set?

 

A: First, I had to find out what kind of book Brady wanted to create as a fourth grader. His mother, Megan, was my “champion” for this writing collaboration. She gave me Magic Tree House chapter books as examples of fast-paced fantasy stories for kids.

 

I went to our local public library and the woman in charge of the children’s section gave me a guided tour. She agreed with Megan that the Magic Tree House books could serve as a prototype for our writing adventure.

 

Brady had other ideas.

 

I took Brady out to lunch, and we visited a local Barnes & Noble. A kind shopkeeper took us on a tour of the bookshelves and elicited from Brady what he wanted to write about—and what he didn’t want to write about. She helped him to select books to read during this exploratory period. I thought John Flanagan’s Ranger Apprentice series would be a great model for us…but was overruled.

 

We went on to study movies and TV shows, which I used to teach Brady about the Hero’s Journey, high stakes, conflict, plot twists, etc.

 

Since this was a joint effort, I decided early on that we would negotiate and compromise as we built our story. Brady and I finally opted for a middle-grade fantasy book—with a splash of science fiction—that would be a mash-up of Narnia & Lord of the Rings combined with Eragon & Jurassic Park, plus Evil Librarians-style artwork.

 

After I had a better understanding of what Brady wanted to write about, I bought him dragon and dinosaur action figures. His “inspiration piece” was a purple, five-headed dragon that later became part of the book’s back cover and website.

 

To build scenes, we had playtime using action figures, cardboard boxes for buildings, and crumpled blankets for terrain. We also went to construction sites and climbed dirt hills, shot bows and arrows, and threw stick spears. A key to the process was to have fun: Brady often told me that having fun while making up stories was one of his favorite parts of our storymaking process.

 

I also used Google and Pinterest images to find dinosaur crossbreeds and humanized hybrids for Brady to choose from. Sometimes he made sketches for me. I also used a variety of imagineering concepts to build the world with Brady. In my arts & crafts room, we took a multimedia approach to make scenes and maps: from drawing and painting to writing on blackboards and whiteboards to using my iPad.

 

Without guidance from my friend, Steve Tamayo, I probably wouldn’t have pursued writing a novel with Brady. Steve had earned his master’s degree from Oxford and became an expert on Lewis and Tolkien. He encouraged me to move ahead and agreed to help formulate Star Life Keepers.

 

Steve also had written a book on ethnicity and harmonious relationships. We decided to teach kids about multicultural teamwork by having human, elf, and shapeshifting dragon characters cooperate to defeat the invading dinosaurs. Steve was writing a novel, too, so we focused on the basic fiction strategy: show the kids diverse collaborations without telling them.

 

I had spent a decade in China, including setting up a genomics company, and was interested in weaving Chinese history and astronomy into Star Life Keepers. With three Chinese cousins, Brady agreed to let me create a family from Tiantan, our version of ancient China.

 

My college degree was in speech and hearing science, and my close friend was 90 percent deaf. So, Brady supported my idea that Jason would have a hearing problem and wrestle with the challenge of dealing with hidden hearing aids in the fantasy world…while his batteries only lasted a month.

 

Following Brady’s principle of always having fun, I created Bukania as the main country in our world based on his middle name, Buchanan.

 

Brady’s younger brother, Caleb, played a pivotal role in building our Star Life Keepers world and helped me develop the sequel, Orion Fire Storm. In honor of Caleb’s help, we called the parallel universe Belacamber—which is Caleb’s name spelled backward!

 

Q: Did you know how the novel would end before you started writing it, or did you make many changes along the way?

 

A: I knew how Brady wanted the Dragon & Dinosaur Chronicles series to end but I must collaborate with grandchildren and Story Advisors to develop captivating endings for each novel. Since our books are family-oriented, Brady wanted an ending for Star Life Keepers that tied to Jason’s missing father.

 

We’ve gone from a trilogy to a five-book series based on how Tui Sutherland structured Wings of Fire. Having a strong ending for each book, and a satisfying end to the series, is challenging, but we keep writing one step at a time.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Brady and Caleb have grown up, so I am now working with external Story Advisors to develop Book 3, Young Dragonriders. Morgan is the 15-year-old daughter of a doctor friend. We’ve worked together for almost two years, communicating through her mother and Zoom.

 

Morgan started out editing Orion Fire Storm and our Story Writing workbook. For Young Dragonriders, she has moved into Story Development, adding some amazing plots and creating an archivist/illustrator young woman who has become more prominent in the story.

 

My other Story Advisor is the 15-year-old son of my Native American friend in Montana. I wanted “Montana Caleb” to critique how I have developed ideas about Native American tribes, as Tolkien did with his elves.

 

For example, the first elf tribe that readers encounter is the Evergreen Nation. They are like Native Americans in the Northeast USA, plus I drew from the Lewis & Clark journals regarding the Mandan tribe. For Orion Fire Storm, I created the Red Cliff Nation in honor of the many years that Montana Caleb and his family spent working in Arizona’s Navajo Nation.

 

He agrees that I have been appropriately honoring his Native American heritage, and we have developed a new Northfront tribe, the Kingdom of Silvermere, for Young Dragonriders. I’m now helping him to write his own fantasy book.

 

I have been collaborating with my adopted Chinese granddaughter to create a crossover series called Constellation Isles, which is the source of dark magic. One of my fondest memories of this storymaking journey was when I took her and Caleb to a restaurant where they had their own booth, ordered from the menu themselves, and together critiqued our first workbook.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: I retired early from being a biotech CEO so my family and I could do our small part to enhance childhood literacy and creativity, as reflected in our saying: Read our stories…Create your own.

 

We have already completed a number of projects to support students and families:

 

Two novels: Star Life Keepers and Orion Fire Storm

 

Orion Dragons’ Holiday Tale short story: origin story about how the Royal Dragons received gifts from the Alnitak star in Orion’s Belt

 

Dragons & Betrayals short story/novelette: The War of the Dragons & Dinosaurs

 

Story Writing: A Workbook of Creative Writing Prompts for Kids 8-12

 

Spark’s Storymaking Kit: a step-by-step guide to get started creating stories

 

Creative Writing Lab: a free collection of roadmaps and self-guided resources for Young Creators who want to make their own stories (available on www.thestorymakinghub.com)

 

My daughter-in-law, Megan Williams, has championed this writing-with-kids journey as I’ve collaborated with Brady and Caleb. She summarized the positive effect that this intergenerational, storymaking journey has had on her children:

 

“Our boys were given a safe space to share ideas, build a world, and be active participants in the production of a story. Which is a priceless experience that I truly believe has shaped a lot of their confidence in their teen years.”

 

I’m grateful that The Children’s Book Review is helping to introduce our storymaking-and-engagement model to the parenting and education community—as we all work together to give children an opportunity to share their unique “heart voices” while making stories.

 

For parents and educators who have questions about our family’s storymaking experience—such as what worked and what didn’t work—feel free to contact me directly: rick@rickwilliamsbooks.com

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb. This Q&A was conducted in partnership with Rick Williams Sr. Readers who follow along on this virtual book tour will have the chance to win an out-of-this-world prize pack! Three winners will each receive signed hardcover copies of Star Life Keepers, Orion Fire Storm, and Story Writing: A Workbook of Creative Writing Prompts for Kids 8–12. One grand prize winner will receive all of the above plus an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite Kids—perfect for diving into even more adventures.

Q&A with Eloisa James

  

 

 

Eloisa James is the author of the new novel The Last Lady B. Her many other books include Wilde in Love. She is a professor of English literature, and she lives in New York City and in Florence, Italy.

 

Q: What inspired you to write The Last Lady B, and how did you create your character Evie?

 

A: Lately I’ve been loving romances with spooky elements—gothic without too much danger and no gore.

 

I first came up with Evie’s situation (married to a man whose first three wives died in the haunted abbey), and then I wrote the scene where Evie rescues a piglet—which is pure Evie. I didn’t want a heroine in a white nightgown running screaming into the night, but I love the idea of a heroine leading a piglet on a pink ribbon.

 

Q: The book’s publicity describes it as “Jane Austen meets The White Lotus”--can you say more about that?

 

A: I looked for inspiration to Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey, where Austen embeds a romance in a novel that mocks and loves the gothic genre. My husband and I adore The White Lotus, especially the opening scenes when you learn someone has died but you don’t know who or how.

 

In The Last Lady B, the reader doesn’t know how Evie’s elderly husband’s first three wives died. You learn from the cover copy that her husband dies—but how?

 

Q: What role do you see ghosts playing in the novel?

 

A: I didn’t want a vengeful, scowling ghost stalking around the abbey leaving bloodstains in his wake. If I became a ghost, it would be for one reason: to protect my children. There’s my ghost, in a nutshell.

 

Q: The novel is set in a remote part of Scotland--how important is setting to you in your writing?

 

A: Setting is far more important in a gothic novel than in a historical romance. In Wilde in Love, for example, the bog outside the Wilde mansion is important, but it doesn’t set the tone of the novel. Lady B needed the eerie quality of endless fir trees, howling wolves, and a haunted abbey with secret passageways.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I’m writing a crazy, fun novella in which a (virgin) heroine inadvertently sleeps with her brother-in-law, becomes pregnant, and is thrown out into a dark and rainy night. I’ve moved from Austen to Dickens, but I’m loving it!

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: The Last Lady B is available in two different formats! If you’d like a personalized trade paperback with Evie on the cover, preorder from the Ripped Bodice. If you’d like a hardcover, depicting a different but still marvelous Evie, turn to Julia Quinn’s Kickstarter campaign for her romance subscription service. The novel is the same, and both covers are delightful!

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb. Here's a previous Q&A with Eloisa James. 

Q&A with Deborah K. Shepherd

  

 

Deborah K. Shepherd is the author of the new memoir An Old Man's Darling. She also has written the novel So Happy Together. She was a social worker for many years, and she lives in Maine. 

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir, and how would you describe the relationship between you and your first husband?

 

A: I was never going to write this memoir. After my first book, a novel, was published when I was 74, I really thought I was one and done.

 

There were some similarities between my real life and the narrative (I set it in Tucson, where I went to school; some of the characters were composites of people I had known) but the main story, about a woman in middle age who leaves her husband and children to pursue an old love, was complete fiction.

 

Nonetheless, I got so many questions of the “Is this about you?” ilk, that I couldn’t imagine writing a book that really was about me and my life with my 34-years-older-than-me husband.

 

Then I found a cache of letters from him and, in reading them, was transported back over 50 years to a time when we were so entranced with each other and the “miraculousness” of our relationship that we tried to write a book together. We didn’t write it though, and it would have been a very “one-note” book if we had.

 

My first husband, Bill Shepherd, was the love of my youth. We were so filled with stardust that I wonder if either one of us gave a thought to the power differential between us, and that there might be an element of manipulation.

 

Now, in the 21st century, with it all filtered through the events of the last 50 years, the headlines about powerful men and underage girls (I was of age, but at 21, barely out of adolescence) and a feminist sensibility, I can see that some of the elements of an exploitative relationship (e.g., grooming and secrecy) were present when he courted me.

 

Nevertheless, we built a life together, mostly loved each other, and raised two kind, loving, and decent children, who are contributing members of society.

 

Q: The Kirkus Review of the book called it “a thoughtful and multidimensional examination of love, power, and self that doesn’t shy away from asking difficult questions.” What do you think of that description.”

 

A: I think it’s a valid description, and I’m glad the reviewer at Kirkus “got it.” As I wrote in the book: “Looking back, it all swirls together—objectification/sexual attraction/passion/obsession/possession/desire/intimacy/love—like the tendrils of a sweet pea. If you try to separate them, you are in danger of killing the flower.”

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: The title is taken from a proverb by John Heywood, a 16th-century writer. The full text is “Better to be an old man’s darling than a young man’s slave,” and implies a relationship with an older man would provide, among other things, more financial security than one with a same-age partner.

 

I was my husband’s worshipped and adored darling, but we were by no means financially secure throughout our nearly 20-year relationship. Many of our conflicts were around finances, so there is some irony in the book’s title.

 

Note: the term “slave” has been rejected in recent years, the preferred term being “enslaved person,” but the proverb was written in 1546.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write this memoir, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: At first, I was entranced to reread Bill’s love letters but then started to see them in an added light. I began to question some of the ways in which I’d been courted, something I had never done when we were both head-over-heels enamored with each other.

 

Some of those questions made me uncomfortable and I think I started writing the book to find some answers. Sometimes the writing of it made me weep, especially when I delved into the later years of our relationship, and sometimes it brought me great joy and gratitude for being so loved, and sometimes I asked myself  “What were you thinking?”

 

There are no easy answers. I would hope that readers not judge, but be more attuned to the grey area, that a relationship does not have to be either/or, but can be both/and. I am now more comfortable in that grey area, not just in thinking about my relationship with Bill, but in many other aspects of what it means to live as a human being on this planet.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: My first book was published when I was 74, and my second at 79. I don’t think I have another book in me, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have the bandwidth for everything that comes with launching a book into the world.

 

But I’m still writing, mostly personal essays,  some of which are being published and some just for myself. I’m really taken with the shorter form, and love telling a whole story in 1,000 words, 500 words, or even 100 words.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: If you’re interested in reading more of my writing, my website, deborahshepherdwrites.com, provides links to my published pieces and to my blog.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb. Here's a previous Q&A with Deborah K. Shepherd.