Kathy P. Wu is the author of the book The Self-Regulation Handbook for Teens and Young Adults: A Trauma-Informed Guide to Fostering Personal Resilience and Enhancing Interpersonal Skills. She is a psychologist.
Q: What inspired you to write The Self-Regulation Handbook
for Teens and Young Adults?
A: This book grew out of 15 years of clinical work with
teens, young adults, and their parents, along with years of teaching
undergraduate and graduate students.
I’ve worked in schools, community-based mental health
programs, inpatient psychiatric hospitals, and outpatient clinics, and
everywhere I went, I noticed the same pattern: young people were overwhelmed,
and the adults supporting them often didn’t know how to respond in ways that
felt safe or helpful.
From a trauma-informed perspective, that struggle makes
sense. Today’s teens and young adults are navigating constant sociopolitical
upheaval, climate change anxiety, technological overload, and nonstop access to
distressing information.
Social media, academic pressure, and a culture of comparison
amplify stress at a time when identity and independence are still forming. In
both therapy and the classroom, I saw how hungry young people were for guidance
that didn’t pathologize them or minimize what they were facing.
Over time, it became clear that there was a real need for a
practical, accessible, self-guided manual on self-regulation, rooted in
trauma-informed care, that could exist outside the therapy room.
I wanted this book to feel like a steady, compassionate
presence: acknowledging how hard this stage of life is, recognizing the
realities of the world they’re inheriting, and offering tools to help them feel
grounded, empowered, and capable.
At its core, the book is about helping young people trust
themselves and build skills they can carry into adulthood.
Q: The book is geared toward people ages 15 to 21. What
impact do you think the pandemic has had on this group's well-being?
A: The pandemic landed right in the middle of a critical
developmental window. Research shows that peer relationships, routine, and
growing independence are essential for emotional development and identity
formation during this stage.
Instead, many young people experienced isolation, disrupted
routines, lost milestones, and abrupt school closures, just as they were
figuring out who they were and how they fit into the world.
Studies show increases in anxiety, depression, sleep
problems, academic disengagement, and feelings of hopelessness. Many also faced
heightened family stress, financial instability, and grief, often without
access to the stabilizing supports that usually help, such as friends,
extracurriculars, and trusted adults outside the home.
From a trauma-informed perspective, prolonged uncertainty
and disruption can deeply shake a young person’s sense of safety and
predictability.
Clinically, I still see the ripple effects: teens and young
adults shutting down more quickly, struggling to tolerate stress, and feeling
overwhelmed by demands that once felt manageable.
At the same time, this generation is remarkably insightful,
with words for burnout, trauma, and boundaries in ways previous generations
often didn’t.
What’s been missing isn’t awareness, but guidance: tools to
steady themselves, rebuild safety, and move forward with confidence after such
a destabilizing collective experience.
Q: What role does self-regulation play in fostering
resilience?
A: Self-regulation is at the heart of resilience. Research
shows that adapting to stress depends less on avoiding challenges and more on
how we respond and recover.
When someone is overwhelmed or emotionally shut down, skills
like problem-solving, empathy, and flexibility become much harder to access.
Self-regulation creates the internal conditions that make those skills
available again.
Research-backed strategies include grounding through the
senses, slowing the breath, using movement to release tension, and putting
words to emotional experiences. Cognitive strategies like naming emotions,
challenging all-or-nothing thinking, and practicing self-compassion also help
teens and young adults recover more quickly from stress.
Learning to notice early signs of dysregulation, such as
irritability, withdrawal, or racing thoughts, and responding intentionally can
make a huge difference. Small actions, like taking a pause, changing the
environment, journaling, or reaching for a safe connection, can interrupt a
stress spiral and restore a sense of control.
Over time, these experiences build confidence and agency,
the feeling that “I can handle this, or at least I know where to start.”
Resilience isn’t about never struggling; it’s about knowing how to come back to
yourself when life gets hard.
Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?
A: I hope readers come away feeling seen and understood.
Their reactions, whether anxiety, irritability, or shutting down, are not
flaws; they are normal responses to stress and to the world they are
navigating.
I also want the book to be practical. It’s full of tools and
strategies that teens and young adults can actually use in daily life:
grounding exercises, ways of shifting thinking patterns, and strategies for
managing overwhelm in school or relationships.
Most importantly, I hope readers feel empowered and
compassionate toward themselves. If someone walks away knowing they have
concrete ways to calm themselves, regain perspective, and navigate emotions—and
that they are not alone—then the book has done its job.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: Alongside seeing clients full-time, I’m developing an
online resource for people navigating both the highs and lows of life.
Psychological support is often framed as something we only
seek during struggles or crises, but the high moments, such as successes,
excitement, and big life changes, are just as important. Reflecting on them can
make them more meaningful and help people identify strategies and mindsets that
support thriving over time.
This project builds directly on what I do in therapy every
day: noticing patterns, celebrating growth, and building intentional practices
that support more than survival.
I’m excited to make these tools accessible outside the
therapy room and hope to have them live by summertime. It feels like a way to
share the lessons I’ve seen transform lives in my practice with a much wider
audience.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: Even though the book focuses on the “self” in
self-regulation, it’s not just about managing ourselves. How we regulate
internally affects how we show up for others.
Right now, there is a tremendous need for trauma-informed
awareness in our relationships and communities. When we notice our own stress
and respond thoughtfully, we’re better able to listen, support, and create
safer, more compassionate spaces around us.
I hope this book helps readers build skills for themselves
and also inspires them to carry that awareness outward to friends, family, and
even larger communities. Self-regulation is a personal tool, yes, but it’s also
a quiet way of making the world a little gentler, one interaction at a time.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
