Deborah Santana is the author of the new memoir Loving the Fire: Choosing Me, Finding Freedom. Her other books include Space Between the Stars. She is also the founder of the Do A Little Foundation.
Q: What inspired you to write your new memoir?
A: I was inspired to write Loving the Fire for my three adult children. I wanted them to have a record of the many experiences that formed me as a person, to know the strength of their ancestors, and the influence of the activists and artists I’ve been fortunate to meet and be in circle with.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: I wrote a poem that said “I wish my mother had not died before I found my way through a burning forest, flames crawling up bark and branch, singeing my legs as I ran…” It was a poem about going through divorce and feeling on my own, with no one pulling me from the flames as my mother would have.
The memoir is a story of how I grew to appreciate the fire I went through as it burned away what I no longer needed and I expanded into the soul I was created to be.
Q: How would you describe your marriage to the musician Carlos Santana?
A: Marriage, like life, is a school. Relationships teach us about ourselves and how to hold love with another person. If one is lucky, marriage is magical, full of aliveness in every cell, with effervescent wonder and passion.
Each person has an intention in the marriage. Mine was to be together until we grew old, but life brings change. I invested time in my children, my spiritual life, returning to college after our third child was born, and focusing on issues facing women and girls. After 34 years, we grew apart.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write this book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: I have written many versions of Loving the Fire! It has been arduous to add significant details, to take some chapters away, and to work with my editors to shape what is in the final book. I was committed to show how my daily meditation and seeking truth and awareness have created a beautiful life.
Finishing this memoir impacted me in ways of feeling full, offering gratitude that I can tell my story, and humbled by the glorious experiences I’ve had. I want readers to know it is never too late to choose yourself, to breathe in the wonder of spirit and to live in truth.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I continue my work with my Do A Little Foundation and am a lead investor and co-chair of the Courage Museum Steering Committee, a museum that will open in 2027 in San Francisco’s Presidio National Park.
This museum will provide visitors with an interactive teaching environment where the artifacts on display are stories and statistics of courage and resilience told by survivors of violence and injustice.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: Archbishop Tutu said, “Peace is not simply the absence of conflict, but the presence of deep and abiding justice.” May we walk in ways that promote justice for all. Thank you.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb












