Lorelei Brush is the author of the new novel The Boy with the Butterfly Mind. Her other books include Uncovering. She is a former professor of child development, and she lives in Falls Church, Virginia.
Q: In your new novel’s acknowledgments, you say that
you worked on it for more than 25 years--can you tell us about how the
manuscript changed over the years?
A: My early drafts of The Boy With the Butterfly Mind
were more like a memoir than a novel, more like journaling to figure out what
was going on in my marriage and divorce than a story others would want to plow
through.
One early reader said it was “edgy” and “sad.” A
couple of readers said they didn’t like either member of the couple and didn’t
want to read a whole book about them. Another said I really had to change the
ending, which had the couple divorcing. She thought they (and I) should work
through their differences, so the book had at least a hopeful ending.
I decided I really had to write a novel instead of a
memoir, starting with inventing the characters. I searched through magazines
and tried the Internet to track down pictures of the parents I was calling
Julie and Luke.
With two models in mind, I built a large spreadsheet
of their characteristics (and those of minor characters as well). I had the
usually bodily descriptors like hair color and texture, height and weight, and
age and also emotional wounds and childhood experiences. I even went back a
couple of generations to decide on inherited traits.
All this was successful in shaking me loose from the
reality of my marriage and allowing me the freedom to imagine theirs.
I still had an issue with the likeability of Luke.
Readers pointed out I seemed to be blaming him for what was wrong with the
marriage, and perhaps Julie should take a good look at herself and recognize
she had a role. Not a great message to hear!
But I took it to heart. I decided to write chapters in
alternating points-of-view. I didn’t feel I was doing a good job of living into
the life of someone with ADHD, and this change allowed me to move deeply into
his character.
Although I felt I had a much better understanding of
Luke’s character and actions, my readers found this approach a “downer.” They
wanted less of Luke and more of Julie’s struggle. So, the final manuscript digs
more into her emotional journey—and still pulls readers into Luke’s side of the
story.
Creating a hopeful ending of the book demanded lots of
research. Though I have a Ph.D. in child development, I am not an expert in
disabilities. I needed to learn a lot about ADHD as its viewed now, the
potential co-occurring conditions, the available treatments, recommended
strategies for parenting, and reasonable outcomes.
I decided that as well as making this a good read
about a single family, I wanted the novel to be helpful to those learning to
deal with such families. It can serve as a case study for people studying to be
teachers, therapists, medical professionals, etc.
I have Julie and Luke discovering that their child has
ADHD and Tourette syndrome, but I think there’s a good chance that some readers
and professionals will disagree not only with the diagnoses but also the
treatment. I’d love the book to be the center of just such debates! And—spoiler
alert—it does end hopefully. But not “happily ever after.”
Q: Can you say more about how you created your
character Julie and her family?
A: I’d like to go into more detail here about their
jobs and their emotional journeys. My spreadsheet of characteristics set the
context for the story.
I made Julie a high school math teacher, as that
seemed an excellent model for a career of a neurotypical woman. She likes the
organization and rules of math; she loves problem solving; and she wants to
please others—including her students. She works hard to make algebra and
calculus relevant to those students.
But many people with ADHD have trouble following rules,
hate the repetitiveness of solving similar math problems, and rebel against the
discipline required. Her husband is definitely one of those people.
Luke, her antagonist, does training for a computer
company. He devises training activities that are fun and free-flowing, which is
not exactly what the executives above him in rank are looking for. He gets in
trouble for not keeping up with the administrative side of the job and
eventually for drinking.
His job is, in some ways, like Julie’s. He is in front
of groups of people, instructs them through activities, and reports to
higher-ups. But his approach is different.
Where Julie is meticulous about details; Luke only
takes care of the details that matter to him. Julie is on time and on budget;
Luke is often late and doesn’t pay attention to cost. Julie is rational; Luke
is far more overtly emotional, avoids confrontation if at all possible, and
tends toward depression when life doesn’t go his way.
They are bound to come into conflicts on lots of
levels. Add in a son who is kicked out of preschool, and the family dynamics
really heat up.
To immerse their lives in the realism that hits such
families, I added additional characters with whom one or the other had
difficulty. Julie’s father is a conservative preacher with rigid views about
how Julie should behave and a boss at school who seems to dislike her. Luke has
a mother devoted to being a victim and a boss steeped in detail. But the couple
also has friends to help them move forward.
I let the process of writing unfold first in my mind’s
eye. I watch what each character says, assess their emotions, let the action
develop, and imagine the outcome.
If the scene isn’t leading into my next planned scene,
I might rerun the visualization a few times to get a different outcome. Or I might
change the next scene to accommodate the outcome my characters charted. Then I
write. My eye stays on the goal of developing the emotional arcs of the
characters.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it
signify for you?
A: I love the analogy between the behavior of
butterflies and the workings of the minds of people with ADHD: that butterflies
flit from flower to flower tasting the possibilities, and when they find
something they like, they dig in for as long as they want.
So too do many people with ADHD as their minds often
jump from one topic to another, focusing for a minute amount of time on each
one. However, when deeply invested in something, they may hyperfocus and resist
any interruption.
In earlier drafts, I called the book Butterfly Minds
with the intention of planting in readers’ minds the idea that ADHD has
generational elements, which are obvious in the multiple family members in the
story. However, my publisher felt the focus should be on Julie and her child.
Also, I believe, they felt the full title invited readers more fully into the
story.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write this book,
and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: I feel as though I’ve plumbed the depths of my life
as a wife and mother of males with ADHD, and I’ve released my feelings of
failure about not having a long-term marriage and not doing all I could to
support my son (who is now a successful adult with a longer marriage than I
managed with his father).
A great deal of that “release” came from creating a
fictional family who did work together to live well with ADHD. The rest came
from having a flourishing second marriage.
I hope readers see the amount and value of the work it
takes in a family with neurodivergent members to communicate well, to face the
emotional wounds each has, and to establish a support system to rely on as they
face a world that is built to serve neurotypical people. Good results are
possible!
But the world often does not yield to the needs of a
child (or adult) with ADHD—even with an Individualized Education Program, even
with parents who are involved with the school and do seemingly endless research
to find the best programs. We must continue to work to understand and be
understood.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I am now writing a memoir that is a series of
stories about the times and happenings in my life that I feel have made me the
person I am. It is mostly for me and my family; it has elements of humor and
laughter at my younger self; and I am thoroughly enjoying the process of
sitting down in front of my computer and remembering.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: Sure. I’ll be 80 years old this summer, am retired
from paid full-time work, and truly enjoy the freedom I have to look back at
the conundrums of my life and write books to resolve them.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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