Ahmad Saber is the author of the new young adult novel Ramin Abbas Has MAJOR Questions. He is also a physician, and he lives in Canada.
Q: What inspired you to write Ramin Abbas
Has MAJOR Questions, and how did you create your character Ramin?
A: The “spark of inspiration” moment came
while I was watching a promotional video clip of a Muslim high school and
observing all the students, all happy and jolly in there, faces lit up with
bright smiles, looking like they belonged, like they had found their community.
And then I imagined a closeted teen Muslim
boy who’d have to blend into that world while having to hide his true,
authentic self. I asked myself what kind of internal anguish might that kid
have to contend with. I’d felt something similar myself while trying to blend
into the Muslim Student Association at my college.
Looking further back, however, the story
had been taking root in my mind long before I recognized the need to write it
down on paper. My bigger inspiration was the question I’d asked myself for well
over 15 years: is the pain of having to reconcile your sexuality with your religious
or cultural identity ultimately meaningless, or could it have, or be given,
meaning?
Candidly speaking, Ramin began as a
self-insert in the very early drafts of the novel but then began to take on a
life of his own and ultimately found his own identity, quite distinct from
mine, but with the guiding light of my lived experience.
In some ways, Ramin’s character wrote
himself. The more I wrote and rewrote scenes and leaned into his voice, the
more I got to know him. Thus I believe in tried and tested advice of letting
the characters tell their own story, rather than the one the author wants to
tell.
Q: How was the novel’s title chosen, and
what does it signify for you?
A: Oh boy, that is a novella on its own!
The book used to have a very different title (which I still am somewhat
attached to!) and it stuck for the longest time.
Ultimately however, being in the YA
publishing landscape, my amazing editor Caitlyn and I decided we needed a more
punchy, teen-friendly title with meaning behind it. And thus began weeks of
intense brainstorming and consideration of almost 20 to 30 potential titles.
In the end, as my brilliant agent Dan
astutely suggested, we wanted to explore the idea of questions. In the book,
Ramin has questions, upon questions, upon questions. And what a wonderful thing
it is to be curious and just ask questions, regardless of how weighty they
might be, and regardless of whether we have answers or not.
We wanted to subtly invoke our readers
who’d resonate personally with Ramin’s story to stay curious about themselves
and never stop asking questions.
Q: What do you see as the role of religion
in the book?
A: Religion serves as a deep and
fundamental layer of Ramin’s personality that he never got to choose but must
still accept and contend with. Like all religions, he was indoctrinated into it
without getting a say in it, and from a young age when he’d not yet have
developed critical thinking skills.
But that’s beside the point - the point
is, for better or worse, once religion becomes a fundamental and inseparable
part of your identity and world view and then happens to be at odds with your
authentic truth and sexuality, it can create intense suffering.
Instead of overly simplistic solutions or
outright rejection of faith, I wanted to explore how a resourceful kid with a
kind heart like Ramin might try to reconcile the two despite all the odds.
In essence, by the end of the novel, Ramin
ends up creating his own version of religion that deviates from the mainstream,
yet still allows him to feel like he doesn’t have to reject one fundamental
part of his identity in favor of another. He manages to keep his faith, yet
gets to discover a different, more merciful, more accepting version of God.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write
the novel, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: Writing this book healed me in ways I
never imagined possible. It helped me heal some of my own wounds from my
childhood and teenage years, and it actually helped me come out a “second”
time.
Years prior to writing this book, I had
come out to my family, but they unfortunately didn’t know how to respond.
Gently, I felt myself pushed back into the closet, the lock clicked shut. My
coming out had essentially kind of fizzled and failed.
However, when I sat down to write Ramin’s
story, my long-stifled feelings began to pour out and I managed to find pride
like never before. This time, I “came out” with unwavering respect for my truth
and for my lived experience.
My biggest hope is that readers will walk
away from the book with increased empathy.
For readers who don’t identify as queer
and/or religious, my hope is that they’d develop a greater appreciation for the
human condition and hopefully compassion for a very unique form of human
suffering.
For readers who do identify as either
queer, or religious, or both, or are struggling to reconcile the two, my hope
is that they’d see themselves in the book and walk away with greater empathy
for themselves.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I am fairly and squarely in the throes
of “second book syndrome,” but there is still plenty of excitement and
enthusiasm! I am working on a “fish out of water” story about this foreign Desi
exchange student who attends a year in the US, receives a high voltage American
culture shock, and gets to discover all that’s wrong with America, and all
that’s right with America.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: On a more personal note, it would be a
dream come true to be able to quit my day job and write stories like this one
full time, so I truly appreciate the support for the book! If you enjoyed the
book, it would mean a lot to me if you’d tell one or two other people about it.
I firmly believe in the power of word of mouth!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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