Kathalynn Turner Davis is the author of the new memoir Kiss Me, Swami: The Spiritual Education of a Beauty Queen. She is a life coach, psychotherapist, and actress. She lives in Los Angeles.
Q: You’ve said that you were motivated to write Kiss Me, Swami
after a therapy session where you discussed some anecdotes from your time in
Hollywood. Can you say more about how this book came to be?
A: My therapist was fascinated by all of my adventures and
gave me an assignment to write them down. This was really the beginning of the
book, 10 years ago. Up until then, it never occurred to me that my life was
something anyone would want to read about.
I had done some academic writing in graduate school but I
had no real experience or skill when it came to the art of storytelling. So, I
signed up for a beginner-level memoir writing class at Gotham Writers in
Manhattan. This is where my love for writing began.
Kiss Me, Swami started out to be a collection of light,
funny anecdotes; however, in taking a second look, I realized that I hadn’t
painted a full picture of myself and my life. The book then took another
course. I wanted to reach people on an emotional level, as opposed to just
being fun and entertaining.
I knew I would need to expose myself in an entirely
different way. I was raised that polite people didn’t air their dirty laundry.
As much as I still wanted my family’s approval, I felt I had to risk it and write
the truth.
It was challenging for me because the most important thing
to me was to infuse the stories with spiritual lessons--as it was also
important to me that the book maintain an overreaching theme of spiritual
growth. The answer of course, was everywhere--as truly, every moment contains
at least a thousand hidden spiritual lessons!
Q: You write about various people you met over the years, in
Los Angeles and New York City. Which of them had the greatest influence on your
life?
A: Garry Marshall had the greatest influence on me in L.A.
He and I became good friends and remained good friends until he died in 2016. Garry
believed in me and my talent. He also understood the meaning of family and
supported me in every choice I made.
Stella Adler was the person who influenced me not only in
New York, but throughout my life. Stella did a number of things for me;
however, one of the most important things was she taught me to watch people
closely, as they’ll let you know who they are, sometimes with just a word or a
sentence. This advice served me not only when I was an actress, my work as
therapist/coach, but in my personal life as well.
Garry and Stella were gifts in my life. Two of the most
brilliant and talented people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
Q: How was the book's title chosen, and what does it signify
for you?
A: In a dream!
I dreamt that I was in the presence of a great swami, and
listening to him talk of spiritual things, all I could think of was how I
wanted to kiss him. I said, “Kiss me, swami, kiss me.” He did--and
it was a great kiss.
In my rudimentary analysis of the dream, I figured it to be
symbolic of the fact that I’d spent so much of my life searching for the one
who’d validate and fulfill me. I looked for a prince to make me happy or an
enlightened being to heal and give me answers and transform my life. I
discovered, however, along the way that through all the sadness and madness,
there was no prince or “swami” coming to rescue me but that the power always
resided within.
If I learned anything from all the princes and frogs, swamis
and stars, teachers and enlightened ones in and out of my life, it is that by
looking within would I find that the elusive acceptance of myself and trust
that I would, in the end, be enough.
Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?
A: Kiss Me, Swami is a combination memoir and spiritual
growth journey. I hope people will come away from reading it
feeling entertained, but also having gleaned some insights and tools with
which they'll feel better equipped to handle some of the challenges that come
into their individual paths.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: At the moment I am thoroughly enjoying riding the
Kiss Me, Swami wave, as it has provided me a perfect excuse to travel, which
you'll learn from the book is one of my favorite things.
I have found the literary community to be so supportive and
full of fascinating people. I am grateful to officially be able to call myself
a part of it. In addition, I am continually kept busy working with clients
in my coaching practice and contemplating a follow up to Kiss Me,
Swami.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: All the good stuff is in the book! I hope you'll
enjoy it!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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