Helen Monks Takhar is the author of the new novel The Marriage Rule. Her other books include Such a Good Mother. Also a copywriter, she is based in London.
Q: What inspired you to write The Marriage Rule, and how did you create your character Elle?
A: There’s a global epidemic of violence and abuse of women and girls. The UN has recognised we need a worldwide, collective effort to stop it.
My tiny contribution here is to write a story where a relatively unexceptional woman with a solid lifestyle is pulled into an abusive relationship. I wanted Elle’s character to be relatable, likewise her reasons for trying to remain in her marriage, countering the victim-blaming question: Why did you stay?
Q: The writer Allison Buccola said of the book, “Unnerving and propulsive, The Marriage Rule is a gripping exploration of family secrets, toxic power dynamics, and the snare of abuse.” She also called it a “feminist thriller.” What do you think of those descriptions?
A: I’m so thankful to Allison Buccola for these descriptions. “The snare of abuse” is such an appropriate phrase.
One of the motivations for writing Elle as an everywoman was to explore how certain men deploy elements of the abuser’s playbook – love-bombing, isolation, reproductive abuse – to entrap anyone with even the smallest frailty in their self-esteem.
The Marriage Rule is definitely a feminist thriller. Why does male violence against women and girls persist across time, geography, social class? I don’t have the answers, but I’m outraged it’s almost normalized.
Shows like the global Netflix hit Adolescence are fuelling an important conversation about what’s only the latest manifestation of dangerous misogyny, which all of us must unite to overcome.
Q: How was the novel’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: I wanted something that introduced a book club question: What’s the one rule of staying married? It’s a question I asked friends as I developed the story. It resonated and prompted discussion.
The Marriage Rule also refers to the reign of Elle’s marriage over her freedom and bodily autonomy.
I’ve seen some early reader responses express how the title is something of a red herring. I think that’s a fair point; that’s the nature of thrillers, albeit there’s a very specific reason why Elle’s best friend Sal introduces the notion of the marriage rule – you have to have sex whenever your husband wants it, even if you don’t – that’s not immediately obvious.
Q: Did you know how the novel would end before you started writing it, or did you make many changes along the way?
A: Honestly, I can’t exactly remember, I’ve been developing the story for so long. However, there is one final beat I really wanted to include, but didn’t know if I was “allowed” to within the constraints of my genre.
There’s a draft of the novel with a truly bleak ending, so I’m incredibly grateful to my editors for giving me the permission I needed to deliver the ending we have in the novel as it stands. This ending also freed me to write my favourite finishing line of all my books.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I’m nearly finished on draft one of a fifth psychological thriller, this with a supernatural spin. I’m also almost done on a time travelling, high concept, cross-cultural romance with my husband, Danny Takhar, which we’ve been developing since 2019!
I’m also working on a horror novella, which I’ve outlined and can’t wait to start writing. I’ve also got three other works in progress on the go. I wish I could clone myself to write all my drafts as quickly as I’d like.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I’d like to take this opportunity to assert the fact that in addition to writing my novels, like Elle, I work full time as a copywriter (though not for a charity) and my senior colleagues have only ever been fantastically supportive, both of my professional copywriting and my fiction. In fact, my boss is one of my best beta readers!
Elle’s professional antagonist represents how too many women return to the workplace after having a baby (that’s if they get to return at all) to find themselves sidelined, undermined, and devalued.
The work of maternal discrimination organizations, such as Pregnant Then Screwed here in the UK, a charity dedicated to ending “the motherhood penalty,” is unfortunately vital.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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