Q&A with Melissa Stoller

  

 

Melissa Stoller is the author of the new children's picture book Stella's Special Recipe: A Rosh Hashanah Story. Her other books include Hazel and Mabel. She lives in New York City. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Stella’s Special Recipe, and how did you choose the recipe to include?

 

A: First, thank you so much for this wonderful interview, Deborah! I appreciate chatting with you about my latest picture book, Stella’s Special Recipe: A Rosh Hashanah Story, illustrated by Valerya Milovanova, which released from Kar-Ben Publishing on August 4, 2026.

 

I was inspired to write this story because I have wonderful memories of cooking stuffed cabbage for the Jewish holidays with my grandmother and mother, and I still enjoy preparing holidays meals with my three children.

 

In this story, Stella is finally able to help cook a holiday recipe to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. This special recipe has been passed down from her great-grandmother to her grandmother to her mother and now to her, and she hopes to add a special ingredient and a little bit of love to the recipe.

 

I wanted to write an intergenerational story about family heritage, holiday traditions, and the love that is passed down through rituals and recipes.

 

Before I submitted the manuscript to Kar-Ben, my mother and my youngest daughter spent the day with me testing our family recipe – we shared stories as we cooked and I have so many beautiful memories and photos from that day. My mother sadly passed away in 2024, but I am so thankful she knew this story would become a book!

 

Q: I’m so sorry for your loss…

 

What do you think Valerya Milovanova’s illustrations add to the book?

 

A: Valerya’s illustrations are brilliant and truly brought Stella, her mother, and the cooking process to life. I especially love Stella’s expressions as she tries to find just the right ingredient to add to her family’s recipe.

 

Also, a big part of the story features Stella in her garden picking ingredients like tomatoes and cabbage for the recipe, with butterflies and bees fluttering and buzzing nearby. Valerya captured those perfectly and she shows the joy Stella feels as she is finally old enough to help cook the holiday meal.

 

The vibrant colors and all the details, such as the heart necklace and apron passed down through the generations, will keep readers turning the pages and asking to hear the story over and over.

 

Q: What are some of your favorite Rosh Hashanah traditions?

 

A: I love holiday traditions! When my children were younger, we always went apple picking and used those apples to dip into honey and to make apple crumble and apple honey cake. And of course, we cook stuffed cabbage among other family holiday recipes like brisket and matzah ball soup.

 

We also always do Tashlich together, where we throw pieces of bread into a moving body of water to say I’m sorry and ceremoniously cast away our sins from the past year. Living in New York City, we throw our bread into the East River or into the Atlantic Ocean on Long Island.

 

Q: What do you hope readers take away from the story?

 

A: I hope readers will find many layers in this story. At its core, it’s a story about Stella taking her place among her family, especially the matriarchs who have lovingly handed down their recipe and shared their love through the generations.

 

Young readers can admire Stella for trying her best to add her unique touch to the recipe. And adults can discuss family traditions, holidays, and gardening. I hope the story will even inspire some intergenerational cooking projects and recipe testing!

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I’m always working on many manuscripts at the same time, and I try to infuse humor and heart into my storytelling. I usually draft picture books, but I’m also writing a Jewish-themed chapter book series. Stay tuned!

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: While this is a story centered around the Rosh Hashanah holiday, readers can enjoy it any time of year! Parents, grandparents, and other adults can share the story with their young readers, and talk about their own family histories, ancestors, favorite holiday traditions, and special recipes.

 

I hope that this book, inspired by my family recipes and culture, sparks conversations and connections out in the world. For a complimentary curriculum guide and enrichment materials, visit my website at www.MelissaStoller.com

 

Thank you again for these thoughtful questions, Deborah! I enjoy your blog, and now I’m so happy to take part!

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Bonnie Grubman

   

 

Bonnie Grubman is the author of the new children's picture book Harriet Hubbard and the Sold-Out Hanukkah. Her many other books include Little Miss Muffet Meets the Itsy-Bitsy Spider. She lives on Long Island, N.Y. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Harriet Hubbard and the Sold-Out Hanukkah?

 

A: I was getting ready for the holiday and went over to my China cabinet to rummage through the drawers for my Hanukkah paraphernalia.

 

I found a couple of paper plates, plenty of chocolate gelt with questionable expiration dates, enough appliqued heirloom towels to adorn my kitchen—and only half a box of candles. As for the decorations, the paper dreidels on the string had seen better days.

 

That’s when I realized it was time to get a jump start on my shopping. After all, last year the bakery had run out of jelly donuts by the time I got there.

 

And that’s when Harriet Hubbard was conceived—with a playful nod to Old Mother Hubbard, who went to the cupboard. Thanks to that familiar rhyme, the story was born.

 

Q: Can you say more about how you created Harriet?

 

A: I wanted Harriet to share my joy in hosting gatherings full of food, love, and celebration. I imagined her as a spirited, grandmotherly woman with plenty of flair, but without relying on stereotypes. (Hence, the skates)

 

Q: What do you think Noa Kelner’s illustrations add to the book?

 

A: Noa Kelner’s illustrations bring charm, personality, emotion, tension, humor, and warmth to the story through wonderfully expressive characters.

 

Harriet’s cat adds another fun layer of child appeal—especially when the tabby rides in the shopping cart. I also love how the artwork reveals something Harriet herself has yet to discover.

 

Her detailed illustrations are rendered in beautiful colors and are in perfect harmony with the rhyme. Thank you, Noa, for making the story come alive!

 

Q: What do you hope kids take away from the story?

 

A: I hope children learn that plans can fall apart and that feeling disappointed is perfectly okay. Above all, I want them to see that being together is what truly matters.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Thanks for asking! I am working on a lyrical bedtime series that explores different habitats.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: Like Harriet Hubbard, I used to roller-skate—though never through a market.

 

I can whistle (using two fingers) with the kind of volume to stop a basketball game.

 

I love children and children’s literature, and I believe picture books are among the most important books we write.

 

As a veteran nursery school educator, and picture book author, I am devoted to preserving the magic of childhood.

 

I love to laugh until my cheeks hurt.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Carol Isaacs

  

 

 

 

Carol Isaacs is the author and illustrator of the new middle grade graphic novel The Cloak from Baghdad. She is also a cartoonist, musician, and filmmaker, and she's based in the UK.

 

Q: What inspired you to create The Cloak from Baghdad, and how did you create your characters Louise and Flora?

 

A: Over the years, it seemed to me that the history of Iraqi Jews is not so well known. On hearing I am Jewish people automatically assume I must come from Russia or Eastern Europe. So I wanted to tell my family’s story in order to highlight the wonderful diversity of the Jewish people.

 

The characters of Louise and Flora are based on me (Louise) and my mother (Flora). In the book I travel back in time to Baghdad as a 10-year-old girl to witness my mother who happens to be the same age. I mean, who wouldn’t want to find out what their mother was like as a child!

 

Q: Did you work on the text first or the illustrations first--or both simultaneously?

 

A: The text came first. I had to remember what life was like when I was 10 and put myself into that mindset. Also, because parts of the story dealt with trauma and displacement, I had to be mindful of what could and couldn’t be put in front of young readers. But it was fun to draw the old Jewish quarter of Baghdad and imagine how my family must have lived.

 

Q: How did you research the book, and did you learn anything that especially surprised you?

 

A: I wanted the book to be based on my family’s experiences so I interviewed them about their lives in Baghdad. I was surprised and sometimes shocked by what I heard.

 

Like Louise, I grew up knowing very little of what they went through. Every now and again they would talk about the good times but they never mentioned the bad. I suppose they just wanted to look forward and make a better future for their families, which is understandable.

 

Q: The Publishers Weekly review of the novel called it “an illuminating exploration of Iraqi Jewish history and the far-reaching impact of fascism and displacement.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: It’s always good to have your stories heard and your history acknowledged, whoever you happen to be. Rightly, the world’s focus has been on the Jews of Europe and the Holocaust.

 

The Cloak from Baghdad, however, introduces the reader to less-heard Holocaust perspectives. There is an educator’s guide, which is available as a free download on the Lerner Publishing website, to help teachers use the book in the classroom.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I recently completed an (adult) graphic memoir about my father’s family in Myanmar (formerly known as Burma) which is called Burma By Accordion. Many Iraqi Jews were merchants and traders, travelling east to discover new opportunities.

 

My book tells the story of two accordions taken on the same journey but by two different people: my father’s cousin, escaping the Japanese invasion of Burma in 1942, and myself, retracing his footsteps almost 80 years later.

 

Currently, I’m working on another graphic novel. Called Torn, it’s a very personal story about the torn hostage posters in my neighbourhood.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: I’m very grateful for this opportunity to talk about my work so thank you for having me! Thanks also to my publisher Kar-Ben and PJ OurWay for all their support, and of course to my family for their generous supply of tea and anecdotes!

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Witney W. Schneidman

  

 

 

Witney W. Schneidman is the author of the new memoir This Africa Idea: A Memoir of Discovery, Diplomacy, and Opportunity.  He is the president of the consulting firm Schneidman & Associates.

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?

 

A: As I approached five decades of having worked in Africa, I thought that I had an important story to tell an audience who might have an interest in Africa or those who might want to learn more about political and commercial issues on the continent.

 

I also wanted to write about the key people who helped me on my journey, the challenges I encountered and learned to navigate, and the many consequential events I have witnessed on the continent over the last 50 years, and why I believe they still matter today.          

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen?

 

A: The phrase comes from a letter my mother wrote me when I was 18 years old and starting a gap year on a kibbutz in Israel. I was supposed to spend six months there, but I met some young Americans who had grown up in Kenya.

 

I found their stories of game parks, hippo pools and endless beaches on the coast enthralling. In the evenings, I started poring over maps of Africa and soon decided to leave Israel for Kenya.

 

I wrote my mother with this news, and she quickly wrote back asking me to tell her more about “this Africa idea.” I left Israel for Kenya several weeks after receiving her letter and have been engaged with the continent ever since.

 

Q: How has your relationship with the continent changed over the decades?

 

A: When I first became engaged with Africa, my focus was on big picture issues: self-determination, ending Portuguese colonialism, and overcoming white minority rule in southern Africa.

    

Nearly two decades after I began my work on the continent, I took a job with a nonprofit monitoring U.S. corporate compliance with the Sullivan Principles in South Africa. I saw that the companies that took the principles seriously were training and promoting Black workers and improving their lives, in defiance of South Africa’s apartheid laws.

 

I thought to myself, “If U.S. companies can do this in South Africa, why can’t they do it all over Africa?  It was at this point that I became an advocate for U.S. investment in Africa.     

    

That has been my principal focus ever since, specifically, working with companies to align their commercial objectives with the economic development objectives of African nations.

 

Q: What do you see looking ahead when it comes to U.S. relations with the African continent?

 

A: In 25 years, one in four people on earth will live in Africa, and the median age of the people there is 19. This will present both challenges and opportunities, but I am hopeful that our government will redouble its efforts to engage with the continent.      

 

For me, the focus should be on the opportunities. How can we increase our presence in African markets? How can we help strengthen accountability and governance? How can we contribute to the end of conflicts in the Sahel, Sudan, and in the Congo?

 

Most importantly, how do we build a relationship with Africa that recognizes the continent’s growing importance to our own economic and strategic interests?

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: Writing this book has been a very significant undertaking, and I feel immense gratitude for how it turned out. I was so fortunate to have worked with an extraordinary editor, Caroline Lambert, from the outset.

 

I’m also very appreciative to all those who took the time to read drafts and parts of my book and to provide feedback. This contributed immensely to the final product.

    

I especially valued getting back in touch with friends and asking whether they remembered a shared experience the same way I did. Often they didn’t, and that only made the book richer.

 

I hope readers come away appreciating just how complex and diverse Africa is, and what extraordinarily rich cultures and histories exist across the African continent.

 

I also hope they are inspired to find their own way to connect with people there, whether through travel, church groups, businesses, schools or other avenues. In doing so, I believe they will enrich their own lives.     

 

Finally, I hope the book creates opportunities for me to engage with students and the next generation of leaders, both in Africa and the United States.

 

If some of the experiences and lessons I have gathered over the last 50 years can help young people think about their own engagement across the Atlantic, and perhaps encourage them to build relationships of their own, that would be enormously gratifying.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I almost feel that promoting my book and getting the word out is a full-time job. It is as if I am staring at a vast ocean of potential readers and standing on the shore wondering where to jump in, even though I have a great publicist in Lissa Warren, a number of friends supporting me, and a terrific publisher in Bloomsbury.     

 

In addition to promoting my book, I am working on projects in Sierra Leone, Tanzania, South Africa, the DRC, and Namibia, and on several boards on which I serve, including the National Museum of African Art at the Smithsonian, the Corporate Council on Africa, and the African Center for the Study of the United States at the University of the Witwatersrand in South Africa.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Les Carroll

  

 

Les Carroll is the author of the new novel Last Day on the Blue Wonder. His other books include Charlie Minto's Pyramid Scheme. He served in the Air Force and the Air National Guard for 28 years. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Last Day on the Blue Wonder, and how did you create your character Andy?

 

A: Last Day on the Blue Wonder developed from a vacation in the New England states in 2023. I flew into Boston and attended my first Red Sox game at Fenway Park – Bucket List item. Then I spent two days in Gloucester, chasing the boats and captains from the Wicked Tuna television series.

 

I decided then that I would base a novel in Boston and Gloucester just so I would have an excuse to visit there many times in the future. Now I’ve been to Boston and Gloucester four times and I’ve attended three games in Fenway Park.

 

I developed the characters of Andy and Amanda from accounts I had read of battlefield courage and heroics, about warfighters and medics.

 

Q: How did your experience serving in the Air Force and Air National Guard inform the writing of the novel?

 

A: My first novel, This Troubled Ground, is autobiographical and based on my deployments as an Air Force public affairs officer to Afghanistan and a stateside deployment to the Air Force Mortuary at Dover AFB.

 

I made the main character in Charlie Minto’s Pyramid Scheme a United States Marine. So, in keeping with my commitment to write about the service and sacrifice of America’s combat warriors, I made the main characters in Last Day on the Blue Wonder soldiers, an Army Ranger and Ranger-qualified Army medic.

Q: How would you describe the dynamic between Andy and Amanda?

 

A: Andy and Amanda “met” under the most stressful of circumstances. Maybe they fell in love too easily. But based on what they both wanted and needed in their lives, it was very natural to bring them back together fairly early in the story.

Q: How was the novel’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: One of the plot points, or conflicts, is that Andy is in danger of losing his father’s tuna fishing boat, the Blue Wonder, and doesn’t really understand why.

During a radio exchange with Captain Bob of the Fat Tuna, Andy states: “I hope this isn’t my last day on the Blue Wonder.” I wrote that line before I had a title, and that became the title. I never gave another thought to what the title might be.

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I am working on a novel wrapped around the current war with Iran. I’m also having conversations with a retired four-star general and an Army special forces officer about writing their biographies or collaborating with them on their memoirs/autobiographies.

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: My best work is still ahead, I think.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Sept. 24

 

 

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Sept. 24, 1896: F. Scott Fitzgerald born.

Q&A with Norah Labiner

  

 

 

Norah Labiner is the author of the new novel Morocco. Her other books include Our Sometime Sister. She lives in Minnesota. 

 

Q: What do you see as the relationship between Morocco and Henry James’s classic Washington Square?

 

A: Henry James crept up on me. He left me hints. Left a book on the table. Left his dressing gown on a chair. Here was his teacup; there was his top hat. But—I was oblivious. I was reading Philip Roth. I was watching General Hospital.

 

Until finally he hit me over the head with a vase of roses, like Moe from the Three Stooges, right? What could I do? I had to tell his story.

 

My book is an accidentally-on-purpose retelling of Washington Square. I did it from dream and I did it from memory. Morocco is an ode to haunted houses and to cats and dogs and to typewriters and to the ghosts who must have their stories told.

 

Q: The novel is set in Chicago--how important is setting to you in your writing?

 

A: There are books about place or where place becomes a character—like Dublin in Ulysses or Salinger’s New York or Saul Bellow’s Chicago.

 

It’s wonderful to walk along Swann’s Way or wander the moors with Emily Brontë, but these places are not real, not really. They are only memories, and more than that—they are memories of a memory.

 

I have a terrible sense of direction, so I think about place in the abstract. My own memory—or nostalgia—is for books that I have read or left unread: the paperbacks, the hardcovers, the library books with the name of some long-ago reader inked on the jacket. The book itself is a place. And the characters live within the little world on the page.

 

Q: How would you describe the dynamic between the narrator of the book and your character Katherine Stern?

 

A: I love Katherine. She likes cake and dresses; she wants to do the right thing, or maybe she doesn’t—? She is deep or shallow depending on where she sets her chaise longue by the side of the very blue swimming pool. She is relentlessly herself, for good or bad.

 

The narrator is something of a ghost. She can walk through walls into the past—to tell a story. And she is drawn to Katherine’s life and family and story. Even as the years pass, she can’t let go of the story.

 

Q: The Publishers Weekly review of the novel says, “Labiner draws implicit connections between the narrator’s and James’s interest in horror, which sheds light on the narrator’s fascinating unreliability.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: I love it! The Turn of the Screw begins with a ghost story told on Christmas Eve in an old house; what could be more terrifying? The Victorian tale of terror is—in its dark heart—psychological. And Henry James is a psychological writer, right?

 

Think of the 19th-century world turning modern with gaslight, the telephone, the victrola, moving pictures. The future was a dream and the past was a nightmare; strike that, reverse it. Freud was inventing psychoanalysis; Bram Stoker was writing Dracula.

 

And now? For us? Even the 20th century has come and gone. And the phone call is still coming from inside the house. In the end all narrators are unreliable, and every story is a ghost story.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: A raven has made her home on my roof. She scares away the little birds from the trees. She’s very beautiful. So, I’ll probably write a book that has something to do with Edgar Allan Poe.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: I’m sorry—I’ve gone on and on about Henry James. I’ll just end by saying that there is a movie adaptation of Washington Square. It is called The Heiress, and it stars Montgomery Clift and Olivia de Havilland from—I think—1949. If it comes on television some late night when you can’t sleep, oh! You should watch it. It is sad and strange and really good. 

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Jessica Siskin

  

 

 

Jessica Siskin is the author of the new novel Looks Perfect. She also has written the book Treat Yourself!. A former fashion executive, she's the founder of the business Misterkrisp. She lives in New York City. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Looks Perfect, and how did you create your character Stella?

 

A: Looks Perfect was inspired by my own experience as both a creator and consumer on Instagram.

 

I kept noticing that as a creator, people were constantly filling in the blanks about my life from what they'd seen me post with the most generous possible details, and that I was doing the same thing with the influencers I followed. But I knew from the other side how flawed that line of thinking was.

 

That observation is what sparked Stella's character; I wanted to explore the perspective of someone who is performing perfection amidst a really messy personal life that she doesn't have the space to really understand, and how she might come to understand that over the course of the story. 

 

Q: Can you say more about how your own experience in the fashion and social media worlds affected the writing of the novel? Did you need to do any additional research?

 

A: The only thing I remember researching is what color the napkins are at Auntie Anne's. I'm sure I researched other things, but I didn't have to do that for details related to social media or fashion because I'm so immersed in both worlds.

 

I think it's funny that I ended up writing a fashion novel, because I always had such a hard time reading them since so much was always inaccurate, and I'm easily distracted by that kind of thing.

 

But having grown up with my mom working in the fashion world and then working in it myself, it was really important to me to write about how legitimate, meaningful, and challenging that work is, when many people still view it as frivolous.

 

Same with social media. When I first started writing the novel, I was getting a lot of feedback that Stella's character was too smart to choose to be an influencer, but these women are smart. Sure, some of it is timing and luck, but I find it hard to believe someone is building an empire without a good amount of savvy. 

 

Q: How would you describe the dynamic between Stella and her boyfriend, Alex?

 

A: Stella and Alex are just completely missing each other. They're both extremely busy, they're in that season of life where they're pouring into their careers, and I think they both get a bit complacent and stop actually seeing each other.

 

What happens, especially because of the nature of Stella's work and how online she is, is that they start imagining projections of one another. So they actually aren't in the same conversation, even though they live together. 

 

Q: Did you know how the novel would end before you started writing it, or did you make many changes along the way?

 

A: When I first started writing Stella, I'd envisioned a totally different project, which was a dual perspective story about an influencer and one of her followers. I was telling myself it was a novella because I'd never written fiction before and that was all I could imagine pulling together.

 

I think I wrote three pages from the other character's perspective before I knew that this was actually just Stella's story, and once I knew that, the plot came to me and I knew the ending right away. 

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Aside from the full time and very meta job of becoming an influencer to spread the word about Looks Perfect, I started writing another novel.

 

Looks Perfect is very much about being in your early 30s, which is the age I was when I started it, and the story I'm working on now is about being in your early 40s, which is where I am now. 

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: While being a mega-influencer with a million followers may not be something everyone can relate to, I wrote Stella's story in the hopes that it would help people connect to and reflect on their own relationship to performance on social media.

 

We put so much pressure on ourselves whether we have a million followers or 100, and I hope Looks Perfect helps people build a relationship to social media that feels good and grounded for them.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Venus Morris Griffin

  

 

 

Venus Morris Griffin is the author of the new memoir The Other Side of Perfect: A True Story of Love, Lies, and Learning to Forgive.  

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?

 

A: Honestly, I didn’t want to. Staying quiet felt safer for a long time. But keeping quiet never protected me or my kids. It only protected him.

 

When their dad went to prison, I had six children, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, and no idea what I was going to do. I remember praying that if God got us through it, I would spend the rest of my life helping other women get through their own hard things. This book is me keeping that promise.

 

Then Humans of New York shared my story, and women wrote to me from all over the world. Some told me they had been ready to give up. That’s when it stopped being my story and became a story about all of us.

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: Most people thought my life was perfect. They saw a husband everyone loved, a beautiful family, a house full of kids, and later, the career I built. What they didn’t see was what was happening behind closed doors, or what it cost me to hold that picture up.

 

Keeping up perfect was a 20-year sentence for me, and I served every day of it.

 

That’s really what The Other Side of Perfect means. Every person has a story people can’t see. I hope this book reminds readers not to be too quick to judge someone else’s life, because we rarely know what they’re carrying.

 

And I can tell you there is far more happiness on this side of it. An honest life is lighter than a perfect one.

 

Q: How would you describe the dynamic between you and your then-husband, Tripp?

 

A: That’s probably the hardest question to answer because there wasn’t just one Tripp. There was the man everyone loved. He was funny, generous, charismatic, and had a way of making people feel seen. I loved that man deeply, and so did almost everyone who knew him.

 

But there was another side that very few people ever saw. As the years went on, our marriage became filled with lies, manipulation, emotional abuse, and eventually things I never imagined I’d face.

 

Looking back, I spent years trying to make sense of two very different versions of the same person. I kept hoping the man I loved was the real one and that the other side would eventually disappear. It never did.

 

I also have to be honest that there were moments my gut told me something was wrong and I talked myself out of it, because leaving felt like failing and staying felt like faith. That’s one of the biggest lessons in my memoir. Love should never require you to ignore the truth.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope people take away from it?

 

A: It was harder than I expected. I had spent years not thinking about certain things on purpose, and writing meant going back and sitting in them until I could get them down on paper.

 

There were nights I quit. There were parts I did not want in there at all, and I put them in anyway, because leaving them out would have made it a different book.

 

What surprised me was how much lighter I felt afterward. I had kept quiet for a long time, partly to protect my children and partly because I didn’t want anyone to know. There was shame in it. I never believed his shame was mine to carry, but living inside it still made me want to hide.

 

As for what I hope people take from it, I want them to read it and think, if she got out of that, I can get out of mine.

 

That is the entire reason it exists.

 

Nothing in the book is dressed up. It is what happened, and then what I did next. And the second part is the part I really want people to see. I hope this book serves as a roadmap for somebody in the darkest moment of their life, so they know the way out exists even when they cannot see it yet.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Right now, the book. Getting it out into the world and into the hands of the people who might need it is my biggest focus.

 

I’m also still selling real estate, which is the career I built from nothing when I was trying to put my life back together. I still love it, and I’m proud of what that career allowed me to build for my family.

 

And then there’s the VMG Foundation. We give $10,000 college scholarships to children who have a parent who is currently incarcerated. Those kids are so often the forgotten ones. I want them to know that what happened in their family does not define their future, and that they are seen, they are heard, and they matter. 

 

I’m donating all of the proceeds from this book to the VMG Foundation and to other organizations that are changing people’s lives. That was the point from the very beginning. I have seven children now, and so much of what I did was about making sure they (my six children at the time) didn’t have to carry what I carried.

 

And I owe Brandon Stanton, founder of Humans of New York, more than he probably knows. I had been sharing my story and speaking around the country for years before I met him, but Brandon gave my story a reach I never could have imagined.

 

When he shared it through Humans of New York, millions of people around the world read it, and the response made me realize how many people could see pieces of their own lives in mine.

 

He wrote the foreword to this book, and I’ll always be grateful for the way he helped my story reach people I never could have reached on my own.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb 

Q&A with Lisa Cheek

  

 

Lisa Cheek is the author of the new memoir The Big Day: Saying "I Do" Only to Discover I Didn't. She also has written the memoir Sit, Cinderella, Sit. She lives in Los Angeles. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write The Big Day?

 

A: My later-in-life wedding day took a turn when I found out after the ceremony during the reception that we weren’t actually married . It’s a wedding story I hadn't heard before and makes for an amusing tale, I’m told.

 

Also, I’m a late bloomer when it comes to relationships. It took me a long time learning how to be in a long-term partnership. In addition to the wedding day, the memoir includes previous relationships that show why it took me so long to commit.

 

Q: The author Steven Rowley called the book a “hilarious, thoughtful, and modern look at marriage, partnership, family, and most importantly--self.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: I’m flattered. Steven is one of my favorite writers, so when he said “yes” to blurbing my book I was super excited. And, when I read what he said about The Big Day, he made me cry. Honored. very honored to have his words on my cover.

 

Q: How would you describe your relationship with your husband?

 

A: It’s the most supportive relationship I’ve ever been in. He loves me for me. He may not always agree with me, but he is always there for me.

 

When I’m around him, I never feel like I need to [please] someone else, which is how I spent so much of my life. I was a people pleaser. Being older and wiser now, I know who I am. And I like who I am.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: I learned so much about myself and my family. A successful marriage was never modeled for me in my family of origin.

 

I hope readers take away love and compassion for themselves and others. Seeing ourselves in a book brings about connection and knowing that we aren’t alone in the world. That to me is the greatest gift.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I just started a third memoir about 10 days of my life.

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: Thank you for featuring me today and sharing The Big Day with your friends and readers.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb. Here's a previous Q&A with Lisa Cheek.