Q&A with Sue Camaione

 

 

 

Sue Camaione is the author of the new memoir The Practical Seductress: How I Learned to Take My Hat and Run. She lives in Bethesda, Maryland.

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?

 

A: The short answer is – I felt compelled. But I also realized after typing up the initial drafts that the sexual double standard resonated with many women and even some men. I drafted the chapters, three of which originated from storytelling competitions prior to the pandemic.

 

When I sent out the revised drafts to critique groups and beta readers, I was surprised by how many of those decades younger felt the themes of loss of freedom, struggling for an education and equal opportunities, and the sexual double standard continue to this day.

 

The Dobbs decision that overthrew Roe v. Wade made me realize that I needed to publish the memoir to reach a wider audience of those affected.

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: The first title was The Klutzy Seductress, because many of my endeavors to pursue sexual joy comically failed.

 

Due to my background in biology and having progressive young parents, I approached discarding my virginity, for instance, as a simple lack of carnal knowledge and a physiological function, and all I needed was a how-to practical approach to achieve my goals.

 

The subtitle of the book, How I Learned to Take My Hat and Run, came directly from my mother, a no-nonsense pragmatist herself, who wanted to ensure, despite poverty and lack of an ability to pay tuition, that I would pursue an education and escape her working class fate.

 

It was a logical act of self-sacrificing love that drove her to kick me out and tell me that “I do not like emotional exits. But what I have learned in life is that sometimes it’s best to take your hat and run.” With that she handed me my beret as the bus appeared and said, “Run.”

Q: The author Chris Palmer said of the book, “Sue is brutally candid and funny in describing her journey. She fiercely fights gender bigotry as she seeks to pursue a fulfilling and sensually satisfying life.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: I think it’s accurate and interesting that it came from a male author. I have been happily surprised by men’s reactions to the memoir. One male beta reader had said, “every man should read this, if for no other reason than to know how to please a woman.” Another reported upon reading the draft, “I had no idea the daily aggressions women survive.”

 

Chris is an author with an environmental background based in biology. He got it immediately.

 

Two men in my critique class forced me to rewrite the rape scene when I was a 19-year-old college student. In the first draft reading, women shook their heads and said, “this happens to so many” as if it were a norm. The men were outraged and said, “get in there and rewrite this more viscerally. Make me shake and quake and want to say…get that bastard.”

 

So, I rewrote it a number of times to get to the truth. I did spend some time crying and shaking and forcing myself into the scene that almost destroyed me. But the result is a far better chapter. I am grateful to the men who have read and learned from my memoir.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: It made me realize the importance of maintaining your sense of humor, and how instinctively retaining your independence is key to resilience. I did not want to write a book on revenge or victimhood, but rather a tale of strength and reinvention in the face of patriarchal norms. I’m a firm believer in Tragedy + Time = Comedy.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I attempted to plot out and draft a second memoir that follows this one. I stumbled badly and spent many sleepless nights wondering why I was struggling. Then I realized a dark tale about how to survive and eventually flee domestic violence would involve my kid’s memories and my own PTSD nightmares.

 

After one podcast interviewer asked me where I am today with relationships, I told her this tale ends on a lovely note. I recently married my long-term lover. All four of our kids gave lovely speeches and were happy we were finally together. That made my heart soar and realized it was all worth it. The interviewer said, “that’s your tale with a great ending.”

 

That night I wrote an entire plotline for a rom com about a middle-aged woman escaping a bad marriage and the trials and tribulations she encounters with meeting up once again with her old lover. Tentatively titled Twice Upon a Time. I don’t want to jinx the project and talk about it beyond that premise.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: I write quirky blogs about people who have inspired me, like Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Tina Turner. I enjoy writing tales of my own funny foibles, such as the time my mini “toy” started vibrating in my backpack as it went through the TSA security, which led to my spending time in a locked padded cell. I have another on how the history of the vibrator connects to the women’s march.

 

I tell people if you’re curious about my writing style, read a few blogs on my author website: www.suecamaione.com. These creative nonfiction stories will give you a good idea on whether you’d like to read my memoir. 

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb