Q&A with Janice Lynn Mather

 

 

 

Janice Lynn Mather is the author of the new young adult novel Where Was Goodbye?. Her other books include the YA novel Learning to Breathe. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.

 

Q: What inspired you to write Where Was Goodbye?, and how did you create your character Karmen?

 

A: It feels cliched to say that inspiration struck, but it really did. In November 2019, I sat down to make plans for projects and goals for the following year, and Karmen’s character and dilemma—the loss of her brother by suicide, and her drive to find out his why—popped into my mind.

 

It wasn’t a topic I had immediate experience with, though, like everyone, I’d heard of tragic situations like the one Karmen and her family face.

 

2020 hit, and it was an intensely stressful time. The news was on my radar more, including news from The Bahamas, where the story is set, and where I grew up. There were a number of well publicized deaths by suicide, and some frustratingly insensitive and ill-informed comments made publicly, which fueled my passion for telling Karmen’s and Julian’s story.

 

My own son died soon after he was born, very unexpectedly, right as I was about to begin working on the novel in earnest.

 

I would never have chosen to write a story about coping with death while I was living through the very early, very raw days of losing my own son.

 

The circumstances are totally different than those of Karmen’s brother’s death, but the experience of raw, bewildering grief and the confusion of looking for answers, felt and still feels very much the same.

 

Karmen’s character has always simply felt meant to be. I wish I hadn’t had so much immediate personal experience to pour into her, but in writing her story, I hope to be able to honour and represent those of us grieving without answers—and those who aren’t here, whatever the circumstances.

 

Q: I’m so sorry about the loss of your son…

 

I wanted to ask you about the novel’s title, about how it was chosen, and what it signifies for you?

 

A: Where Was Goodbye? emerged in thinking about how to encapsulate Karmen’s journey. Her brother’s death was sudden and unexpected, so she’s not only grieving and searching, but in shock.

 

It’s not only Where is my brother? and Where are the answers? but Where was a farewell? There’s also Karmen’s struggle with her feelings of responsibility, regret, and guilt.

 

I don’t want to give the story away, but, like many who are grieving, Karmen is looking for answers, asking whether she played a role, and grappling with unanswerable what-ifs as she wishes for a different outcome for Julian.

Q: Did you know how the story would end before you started writing it, or did you make many changes along the way?

 

A: This story’s tragedy is presented up front, and in that way, I knew the ending before I began to write. I also had an idea of destination in terms of where Karmen lands in her quest for knowledge.  

 

The bigger changes lay more in the specific steps and turns Karmen takes as she looks for understanding and information. Characters like Robbie, Pru, Layla, and Isaiah also shifted in prominence, through the process. It took a while to land on who were the more involved supporting characters.

 

Q: What do you hope readers take away from the book?

 

A: Every reader is different, but I think of two broad categories: those who have lived or are living through grief, and those who haven’t.

 

For those who’ve lived through grief, I hope they come away feeling heard and seen. For those who haven’t, I hope they’re able to extract a bit of understanding of what it means to lose someone—and how to love and support them thoughtfully.

 

Q: What are you working on next?

 

A: For now I’m shifting to working on projects for older readers. The most current one is a historical fiction piece, Madame Dee’s Luck Dream Emporium.

 

It follows four families over hundreds of years, dipping from past to the present, where an overbearing mother goes to extreme lengths to reveal a secret to her semi-estranged daughter, through dreams.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

A: This story could never have been told without the empathy and kindness of my editor, Catherine Laudone and Rachel Letofsky, my agent.

 

Both provided gentle generosity in helping me rework logistics like deadlines, because I was in the thick of grieving as I wrote, just as you’ll find Karmen in the thick of grieving as you read. There were times when I really needed to pause, and their understanding made it possible to continue.

There are several resources at the end of Where Was Goodbye? pertaining to suicide prevention and mental health support, and a note at the beginning letting readers know that the story handles grief, death, suicide, and loss.

 

As you read, be kind to yourself. Take time if that’s what you need. I did.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb