Patricia Bonis is the author of the new memoir Jeddah Bride. She also runs an interior design firm, and she lives in Florida and in New York.
Q: What inspired you to write this memoir?
A: From those first college days when I started dating Rahman (my ex-husband), people I met had unending questions about him and his country, probably because Saudi Arabia has always been so isolated, notorious and extreme.
I quickly came to understand that I would be bombarded with curiosity and often hesitated to mention him and my relationship if I wasn't in the mood to answer questions.
When my children were kidnapped by him, of course the curiousity increased and it seemed like that's all people wanted to know about me. Where did you meet? Why did you fall in love? What was it like in his country? How did his family treat you? Why can't you go over there and get your children back? And of course, Why don't you write a book?
I toyed with the concept of writing a book, I certainly had enough stories, but it was way too painful to write anything about my children, my broken marriage and my current situation, complete alone and still fighting to see them.
When I was finally reunited with them, after 14 years, I realized that this story might make a good book with a happy ending and I started writing, chapter by chapter.
My hope, with Jeddah Bride, is that I might shed some light on a very dark part of the world, and that I might give hope to others who find themselves in desperate and hopeless situations such as mine.
I am in touch with various organizations, such as FIND MY PARENT, that work hard to help parents all over the world be reunited with their stolen children, but there is still much work to be done.
Q: Did you need to do additional research to write the book, or was most of it based on your memories?
A: I did absolutely no research to write Jeddah Bride. This story is 100 percent from my memories and personal experiences.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: I wanted a short and strong title, one that people would wonder about. What exactly does that mean? What is a Jeddah Bride?
I wrote down about 10 possible titles for consideration. Most were more about the kidnapping, like "taken" or "gone." But I decided that I didn't want to put so much weight on the act of kidnapping.
The book contained other rich and interesting information about the romance and the collapse of a marriage, the lifestyle in Jeddah, and being part of a Saudi family that, for me, was equally interesting and work considering.
So "Jeddah Bride" fit the bill. I am the Jeddah Bride, kind of anonymous, the way most married women are in Saudi Arabia, very restricted and burdened by their cultural norms, and I could not escape without severe consequences and damage.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: By writing Jeddah Bride, I felt like I was finally out of the shadows. I am proud that I accomplished this, but often I cry, just thinking about my life during those years.
I wondered whether writing the book would make me feel better about my choices and actions, which could be interpreted as both triumph and failure. It does not. The loss never goes away.
So for readers, I hope they take away a message of hope, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of others and understanding that it is possible to survive and recover from Hell.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: My publisher has suggested that I write a sequel to Jeddah Bride, answering all the questions that have arisen in the wake of the book. Many of those questions reflect people's curiosity about where and how everyone is now.
I am considering that, but for now, since the book is barely a few months old, I will concentrate on getting my message out to the public.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: Just know that I appreciate your interest in Jeddah Bride and will always be happy to discuss it further. Thank you!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
Very nice insight into the Author's mind.
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