Shari Leid is the author of the new book Table for 51: Lessons Learned from Sharing Meals Across America. Her other books include Ask Yourself This. She is also a mindset coach.
Q: What inspired you to write Table for 51?
A: My travels across the United States were deeply personal, rooted in connection and my own life’s search to find what home and community feel like.
I knew from the beginning that I wanted to write this book as I journeyed, but I didn’t realize how transformative the experience would be.
It included the ending of my 27-year marriage—something I found the strength to face because of the lessons I learned from the 50 women that so generously shared their life stories with me that I now refer to them as not only friends but also teachers.
Q: How did you find the people you met along the way?
A: I found 27 connections on my own – with women who were in my life, but I had never met in person, like my web designer in Indiana—we worked together but never spoke of our personal lives let alone shared a meal together!
Social media became a lifeline; I reached out, and friends sent me their friends, nieces, aunts, and colleagues.
Finally, I had 13 states remaining with no connections and I decided to search for women business owners, figuring that if they had a business, they were likely rooted in their communities.
My biggest fear was traveling, only to be stood up, but instead, I found so much warmth and welcome with everyone showing up to share our planned meal.
Q: The writer Dana Frank said of the book, “Leid, an Asian American woman, illuminates how our differences are often outweighed by our shared concerns and values, reminding us of our common humanity.” What do you think of that assessment?
A: Her words mean so much to me. Part of my decision to embark on this journey was personal—I was adopted by Japanese Americans born in Seattle, who were interned during WWII because of their ancestry.
I grew up with the belief, shaped by their experiences, that we weren’t welcome across the U.S. As a child, we never strayed far from the West Coast.
During this journey across the country, it wasn’t uncommon for me to be the only Asian person in a restaurant or store. This book allowed me to rewrite that belief I was raised in – and believe I am welcome everywhere.
Q: Can you say more about the impact writing this book had on you, and what do you hope people take away from it?
A: Writing Table for 51 was life changing. It showed me how open people are to connection and the incredible power of sharing a meal. Sharing food is so much more than eating—it unlocks something ancient and powerful. Since the beginning of time, sharing food has meant safety and belonging.
At first, I looked for similarities, but I discovered it’s our differences that make us truly interesting.
My hope is that readers will feel inspired to invite a coworker, a neighbor, a family member, or perhaps a long-lost friend to share a meal. Our country has a loneliness epidemic, and I dream of fighting that epidemic, one meal at a time – creating a table, where everyone has a seat.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I’m focused on promoting the Flip the Box movement. It’s all about bringing people together through informal potlucks—inviting friends who don’t know each other and creating new connections.
I’m also speaking professionally, showing associations and organizations how to flip the box in their personal lives, businesses, and communities. When you flip the box, you flip the possibilities.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: The Flip the Box movement has a private Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/558187349874133 , and I offer personal coaching for anyone ready to reinvent their life – a free discovery call can be booked with me online at https://bookings.animperfectlyperfectlife.com/#/animperfectlyperfectlife
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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