Margaret Whitford is the author of the new memoir The History We Carry. She held leadership positions in the nonprofit world for 20 years, and she lives in Massachusetts and in France.
Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?
A: I decided to write The History We Carry because I wanted to understand the origins of the emotional distance that characterized my relationship with my mother.
It also seemed to me that I had both a responsibility and an opportunity to do something with the stories about the past my mother had shared with me during the last decade of her life, many of which I had recorded. It felt as if she had given me the stories as a way to make sense of our relationship. The memoir is my effort to do that.
Q: How would you describe the dynamic between you and your mother?
A: My mother's and my interactions were characterized by an emotional and physical distance. At the same time, I recognized that she loved me and hope she understood that I felt the same way. She never failed to support me in realizing my dreams. She believed in me and my abilities. I know she was proud of my accomplishments.
That said, the warmth I suppose I'd always wanted from her was rarely present. And my inability to appreciate her loving me in the ways she could further divided us.
Q: How was the memoir’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: My publisher, She Writes Press and Brooke Warner in particular, suggested the memoir's title. I liked it immediately because it conveyed a core belief that guided my exploration of my mother's and my relationship. The past is alive in the present. My mother's history shaped and is part of my own. I carry it within.
Q: The writer Sue William Silverman said of the book, “Courageous, precise, and ultimately both urgent and forgiving prose.” What do you think of that description?
A: Sue is both a friend and a significant writing mentor to me. She supported my work on this memoir in its early stages, so her opinion on the final result is gratifying.
I think courage is essential when writing memoir because doing so often involves facing uncomfortable or painful truths. I strive for clarity in both my thinking and my writing, and it seems that Sue appreciated that.
And, finally, I hope my memoir is compassionate toward the people whose lives I explore on the page, including my own.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I am in the early stages of writing a book exploring my husband's and my experiences as Peace Corps volunteers in Kenya.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: In addition to writing, I am a dedicated Francophile. With my husband, I divide my time between Massachusetts and France. I appreciate the ways in which making a home in a country other than the United States enriches our lives and challenges our perspectives.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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