Photo by Anita Lee
Martina Nova is the author of the new book Same Page Parenting: Align with Your Partner to Raise Happy, Confident & Resilient Kids. She also has written the book The Therapy Buddy. Nova is a therapist, and she's based in Vancouver.
Q: What inspired you to write Same Page Parenting?
A: It really started in my therapy office, but it also came from my own experiences as a mom. I work with a lot of couples and parents, and I kept noticing the same dynamics coming up in session.
People loved each other deeply, but they were having the same frustrations over and over again about parenting. Who does what. What feels fair. How to handle discipline. How to talk to family members about boundaries.
Around the same time, I was also noticing some of those dynamics show up in my own relationship with my coparent. It made me realize how universal these struggles are. Even when people care deeply about each other and want the same things for their children, parenting can expose a lot of unspoken expectations.
So I started sending couples questions between sessions. Not advice or instructions, just thoughtful prompts that could help them talk about things before they became conflicts. Conversations about mental load, gender roles, childhood experiences, and what support actually looks like.
Over time I realized those conversations were helping people in a meaningful way, and that’s when the idea for the book began to take shape.
Q: How did you research the book, and did you learn anything that especially surprised you?
A: The book is a mix of clinical experience, research, and real life conversations. I drew from psychology, attachment theory, family systems work, and feminist research around invisible labor and mental load.
A huge part of it also came from listening to the people around me. Real conversations with my girlfriends who are also moms, my clients, colleagues, friends, and my own experiences as a parent.
One thing that really struck me while writing it is how many couples think they’re on the same page because they share similar values, but they’ve never actually talked about the details. Things like who notices when the diapers are running out. Who tracks the doctor appointments. Who becomes the default parent.
Those small invisible dynamics are often where resentment quietly grows. Once couples start naming them, even gently, a lot begins to shift.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: To be honest, the title itself came from the publishing team. But it really captured the spirit of the book. In my work with couples, I kept hearing people say the same thing: “We just want to be on the same page.” That phrase came up over and over again.
What I’ve learned is that being on the same page doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means understanding each other’s experiences, expectations, and pressures. It means having the conversations that many couples never realized they needed to have. So the title ended up reflecting exactly what the book is about.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: Writing this book was deeply personal for me. In each chapter I share pieces of my own experiences, struggles, and moments of guilt or uncertainty.
As a therapist, I spend my days immersed in research and clinical frameworks about what healthy communication and parenting dynamics should look like.
But there’s a real difference between what research tells us and what those moments actually look like in real life, when you’re tired, overwhelmed, and trying to navigate a relationship while raising children.
Writing the book forced me to be honest about that gap. I didn’t want to hide behind the role of “the therapist who has it all figured out.” I wanted readers to see that even people who understand these dynamics professionally are still human inside of them.
My hope is that by being open and vulnerable about my own experiences, and sharing what I’ve learned both personally and professionally, readers feel less alone and more empowered to start these conversations in their own relationships.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: Right now I’m continuing my work as a therapist, which is really where so many of these ideas come from. I work with parents, people navigating trauma, and individuals trying to understand patterns in their relationships.
I’m also connecting with my community in new ways around the themes of the book. I’ve been collaborating with schools, hosting workshops for parents, and speaking on podcasts about parenting dynamics, communication, and the invisible pressures that show up in modern family life.
For me, the book is really just the starting point for a larger conversation.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I think the most important thing to know about the book is that it isn’t going to shape you to be perfect parents. I want people to get curious about themselves, their partners, and the patterns they bring into their families.
Most of us are doing the best we can with the tools we were given. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is pause, ask better questions, and start talking about things that were previously left unsaid. That’s where real change often begins.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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