Photo by Suzanne Strong
T. Alex Blum is the author of the new memoir An Accident of Birth: A Story of Adoption & Identity. It focuses on his adoption and the discovery of his biological family. He has worked in marketing, advertising, and feature film production.
Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?
A: When I was connected with my brothers in late 2019, we started to have Zoom calls on a regular basis. On these calls, we would share stories, histories (theirs and mine) and shared experiences, and it became a study of parallel lives, nature versus nurture, and the power of luck and coincidence.
I had always thought about writing a book, and it became clear to me that this was the book I should write. Once I had their blessing to pursue it, I started working on it, and the first draft was completed in about four years.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: The expression “an accident of birth” refers to something that someone acquires or experiences purely as a result of their birth, which to me describes exactly the experience of adoption, with an extra layer of irony.
As an adoptee, the circumstances of your life are entirely determined by not only genetics and DNA but by a series of choices made by other people over which you have no influence or control.
Q: You include excerpts of reminiscences from your brothers in the book--why did you decide to do that?
A: As we shared our stories on our Zoom calls, I often asked my brothers to jot down their reminiscences and send them to me, and it became obvious to me that in the interests of authenticity, those stories should be included in the book and told by them in their own words.
In fact, when we recorded the audiobook, I had them record each of their sections so the listener would hear those stories in their own voices.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write this book, and what do you hope people take away from it?
A: Writing this book became a voyage of discovery for me, first in terms of my feelings about my own experience and about adoption in general and then in terms of all the people and all the stories I have encountered since I began this process.
I didn’t realize how many people’s lives are touched by the adoption experience, whether they are adoptees, birth parents and siblings, adoptive families and siblings, children and spouses of adoptees, and others.
I would like people to understand that adoption is far more complicated than most people realize, and the emotional landscape can be challenging in lots of ways, and it’s helpful for adoptees to understand that most likely they share issues in common with many other adoptees, and they should feel free to own their story and explore the issues.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I am working on my next book, which strictly speaking is not a memoir, although it does deal with memory and the different forms it takes as it morphs over the years and perspectives change.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I thought writing the book would be the hard part. I had no idea how many things there are to figure out and do once the book is written!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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