Dan Rosenfeld is the author of the new book The Confidence Equation: Three Keys to Unleashing Self-Confidence as an Introvert. He is also a psychologist, table tennis player, and comedian.
Q: What inspired you to write The Confidence Equation?
A: The Confidence Equation started as a memoir. In the book, I share my personal story living with cerebral palsy and how I overcame my disability to become a professional athlete, national stand-up comedy champion, and Ph.D. psychologist.
While writing, though, I realized my story offered lessons other people can apply to their own lives too, so I turned it into a memoir/self-help hybrid. Throughout the book, I use moments from my personal story to share life lessons on how readers can overcome self-doubt and build self-confidence.
Q: What do you think are some of the most common perceptions and misconceptions about introverts?
A: Two of the most common perceptions and misconceptions about introverts are that they’re shy and don’t like people. Shyness is a fear of social judgment; introversion means you fuel up on energy by spending time alone.
Those are totally different things. An introvert can be completely confident and conformable in social settings, and love being around people, but just need alone time to recharge afterward. In fact, that’s how most introverts are.
Q: What do you see as the major roadblocks to feeling self-confident as an introvert?
A: I believe there are two major roadblocks to feeling self-confident as an introvert.
The first comes from living in a culture that idealizes extroversion. Many Western cultures reward boldness, quick talking, and constant sociability. When that’s the default template for a “successful person,” introverts can internalize the message that something is wrong with them.
The second roadblock, on a related note, is misreading your own needs as weakness. Needing to leave a party early, going quiet in a group brainstorm, or feeling drained after a long day around people can feel like personal failure rather than simply being how you’re wired.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: Writing the book was therapeutic, as I reflected deeply on my life story and what each challenge I’ve faced has taught me. I believe the writing process brought me clarity and calm.
I hope readers take away clarity about themselves and their own lives, as well as a more compassionate attitude toward their own self-doubts and struggles. I hope readers leave the book with not only an understanding that self-confidence looks different for each person, but also a clearer idea of what confidence means and feels like to them.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I’m currently working on a book about modern dating and why it’s uniquely frustrating for so many people. If anyone’s interested in reading that one, they can stay updated on its release by joining my newsletter: https://danrosenfeld.kit.com/45ef212e02
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I’m active on Instagram @dr.dan.phd (https://www.instagram.com/dr.dan.phd/),
so people can follow my day-to-day writing there!
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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