Joanne Redding is the author of the new memoir House of Pretend. She worked on Wall Street for more than 16 years, and she lives just outside of New York City.
Q: What inspired you to write this memoir?
A: All my life books have been extremely important to me. When I was very young, they showed me a world where families did not live as mine did. I saw families with emotional connections, shared hopes and dreams, and support and love for each other.
I first started writing during a difficult period a few years ago. I took part in a trauma therapy program which helped me come to terms with what had happened to me.
Gradually I came to forgive both of my flawed, troubled parents and reclaimed my voice which led me to write this memoir.
Q: The author Laura Munson said of the book, “House of Pretend is raw, unsentimental, and deeply human—an unmasking of survival, resilience, and self-worth.” What do you think of that description?
A: I think it’s accurate. Parts of my story are very painful, very raw. I still cry when I some of them, thinking of that little girl I was. There are also scenes that, even after so many readings, still have me laughing out loud.
In the book, I speak of the importance of acknowledging suicide, recognizing child endangerment beyond physical and sexual abuse, the impact of childhood trauma on relationships in adulthood, and I examine the links between grief, mental illness, addiction, and self-destructive patterns.
Fundamentally, House of Pretend is about how after a childhood of taking care of myself, and pretending, shapeshifting, to adapt to my mother’s ever-changing moods, I set out and forged my own path to success.
In my 20s, when women in finance were rare, I thrived as a trader on Wall Street, earning the respect of colleagues through competence and resilience. To get there, I had to shed a lot of shame and guilt and find the courage to love myself and deem myself worthy.
Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?
A: I think House of Pretend is an apt description of where I lived for so long – both externally and internally. I’ve had that title in mind since very early on in the writing process.
It rings true to my life experience. Growing up, whenever I left our apartment, I knew to wear a mask that made it look like I was fine. I was fed and dressed appropriately. I knew how to perform, to please, and to pretend. I appeared to be okay. But I was far from it.
I learned from my mother. She knew how to act when there were others around. But when the door to the apartment closed and it was just us, life was rife with silence, secrecy, and shame.
As an adult, I continued to pretend. I copied behaviors to fit in. I didn’t want anyone to see what was inside of me. Afraid and ashamed, I pushed down the grief and trauma which I had never dealt with.
I love the title.
Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?
A: The act of putting these memories and feelings down on paper felt like I was ridding myself of them. I physically felt better, lighter. It felt almost as though I had vomited, I felt relieved.
I suspect many readers will have unfortunately struggled with issues of mental illness, whether it be suicide, addiction, sexual abuse, or depression. Some readers will be in a place in their lives where they don’t want to be.
I hope they recognize that they can make changes. I hope they recognize their own self-worth, and that what has been done to them is not their fault. I hope they are brave enough to let people see them as they are and ask for help. I hope they can see the importance of forgiveness and trusting again. I hope they reclaim their power.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: Right now, I am enjoying the release of this book. I’ve been encouraged to try my hand at a novel. I have some ideas percolating… but as of now, I am enjoying the moment, taking some time to decide what’s next.
Q: Anything else we should know?
A: I am on Instagram as joanne_redding, Facebook as Joanne Redding author, and my website is www.joannereddingauthor.com.
I’d also like to thank everyone I have met along the way who have helped me get to this point – the team at She Writes Press, Simon & Schuster, Emi Battaglia Public Relations, and my friends and my children.
--Interview with Deborah Kalb
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