Q&A with Amil Niazi

  

Photo by Norm Wong

 

 

Amil Niazi is the author of the new book Life After Ambition: A "Good Enough" Memoir. She writes a column, The Hard Part, for The Cut. She lives in Toronto.

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?

 

A: When I wrote about the idea of “losing my ambition” for The Cut, I was at a breaking point with my career, frustrated by the idea that as a 40-year-old woman, I’d already reached my “peak earning years.” I was overwhelmed trying to juggle work and motherhood and feeling like I was sacrificing myself trying to be perfect at both.

 

The incredible response to the viral essay showed me that I wasn’t alone in this and that there was value in exploring what ambition had always meant to me, my journey as a woman of color trying to navigate the working world and what lead to my ultimate divorce from a certain kind of striving.

 

And when I sat down to write, I knew that sharing certain vulnerable and traumatic aspects of that process would help some people feel less alone. Ultimately, the book I wrote was for a younger version of myself, who always wished for a book like this. 

 

Q: How were the book’s title and subtitle chosen, and what do they signify for you?

 

A: The working title initially came from my essay for The Cut, but ultimately the change from “Losing My Ambition” to “Life After Ambition” felt more hopeful and honest about the trajectory of the book.

 

The subtitle is a nod to the work of Donald Winnicott, who championed the idea that a “good enough” mother was better than a perfect mother. Through the process of having three kids and continuing to pursue a writing career, I ultimately landed on the feeling that being “good enough” at work and at home was the only way for me to survive doing both. 

 

Q: In a Vogue article, Emma Spector says of the book, “Life After Ambition offers no tidy conclusions; Niazi is telling her story in medias res, inviting readers to figure the whole mess out with her—and in this era of gentle-parenting TikToks and general advice oversaturation, that feels like a gift.” What do you think of that assessment?

 

A: I loved Emma’s read of the book. My aim was never to be prescriptive, but rather to share my own experiences of work, womanhood, and motherhood and hoped that in reading my story, other people would see some of themselves there.

 

I’ve received so many DMs and emails from readers who say they’ve found comfort, reflection, and inspiration in the book. 

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: I found that in writing and releasing the book, I also released a lot of shame, fear, and isolation. There are things in the book that I have never spoken in depth about to my own family out of fear of judgment, so to put it out there in this way was terrifying but ultimately gratifying. I hope by reading it, people feel the same. 

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I’m about to start work on a podcast that touches on motherhood and momfluencers, I’m continuing to write my column, “The Hard Part,” for The Cut and starting to compose a proposal for another book (fingers crossed!)

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: Writing a book, this book, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so grateful to every single person that has picked it up and if you find even a small sense of hope or self-reflection in there, it was all worth it.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb