Q&A with Tanja Brown

  

 

 

Tanja Brown is the author of the new memoir Flipping the Script: A Year of Borrowed Time. She is also a school psychologist and an entrepreneur, and she's based in Colorado. 

 

Q: What inspired you to write Flipping the Script? 

 

A: I wrote the book for a few reasons. First, for myself, as I wanted to make sense of the choices I made during the relationship. I also wanted to give women perspective on the lives other women live at this age and that our lives do not have to take a societally predetermined path.  

 

I started writing the book to process an emotionally charged decade in my life. I have been aware for a while how few stories exist about women in midlife making unconventional, deeply personal choices, that work for them. The book became about giving voice to those moments, what it may cost you, and whether it was worth it.

 

We need more of our stories out there. We don’t age out of ambition or desire, and we don’t stop being funny, messy, powerful, exhausted, or hopeful. Midlife and post-midlife are not the end of our story; it’s often when the real reckoning begins. And I wanted to tell that story with honesty, self-reflection, and without apology.

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: I chose Flipping the Script because society has long normalized older men dating younger women, while older women in age-gap relationships are often judged differently. The title reflects reversing that narrative and saying it’s okay for women to love and live outside of traditional expectations.

 

The second part of the title, A Decade of Borrowed Time, came from the emotional reality of the relationship. I was 50 when the relationship began, and there was a 26-year age gap between us. I often felt like I was borrowing this man during the best years of his life, and that our time together came with an expiration date. It felt like a gift and something temporary at the same time.

 

Q: How do your experiences as a psychologist and a memoir writer intersect?

 

A: As a school psychologist and board-certified behavior analyst, human behavior has always fascinated me. I believe exposure in life, whether through relationships, travel, hardship, or social change shapes our thinking, emotional responses, and the choices we make.

 

Writing a memoir naturally intersects with my professional background because both involve observing patterns of behavior, self-reflection, emotional resilience, vulnerability, and the way people, including me, adapt, grow, and struggle against societal views.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: Writing the book was incredibly cathartic for me and gave closure in the sense that it further clarified that my choices were the right ones for me at the time.

 

It allowed me to reflect on not only the relationship itself, but also on aging, identity, love, motherhood, loss, and the ways we evolve through life experiences.

 

Writing the book and receiving feedback from readers also taught me that I may have wrongly approached the life with my then-partner in some ways.

 

I was indeed still very insecure about people my age and how they perceived me while living a life with a man that much younger. I worked hard to become the professional that I am, and outdated stereotypes were certainly affecting me, at least to a small degree. 

 

What I hope readers take away from the book is that life does not end at a certain age, and that love, passion, growth, and self-discovery can happen at any stage of life. I also hope it encourages people to question societal expectations and to live more authentically and fearlessly, true to themselves.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: Right now, I am dedicating 2026 to myself. I am focusing on my health, mental peace, and creating a more authentic and balanced life. I’ve been shedding responsibilities as a business owner and even some relationships, in order to finally breathe more freely as a woman who has entered a new chapter. 

 

Writing the book has been incredibly healing and unexpectedly helped me reconnect with close friends and meaningful relationships that I had lost along the way. Rebuilding those connections has opened many new doors, personally and creatively.

 

I’m also traveling a great deal simply for the joy of it, and I find myself writing every night during my trips, whether it’s ideas, cultural observations, social dynamics, or scenery that may eventually become the backdrop for a thriller I hope to focus on in 2027.

 

At the same time, I am carefully considering if and when I want to share another deeply personal nonfiction work. It would be centered on life with autism within a family, and my experiences as both a mother and an Autism Center ABA provider.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb