Q&A with Ginelle Testa

 

 

 

Ginelle Testa is the author of the new memoir Make a Home Out of You. She lives in Boston.

 

Q: Why did you decide to write this memoir?

 

A: Despite being in my 20s when I began writing this book, I felt I had stories of tragedy and triumph to share. The halls of Alcoholics Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous taught me that sharing one’s story has the power to help heal and transform not just others but oneself.

 

I’ve had people who read early drafts take that step to get into recovery. And I’ve found deep healing for myself where before there was little to none. Writing was originally a self-reflective and selfish practice. I began jotting down my ideas for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

 

Doing this for three Novembers in a row, I wrote everything I needed to—spilling my guts onto the pages without concern for anyone else reading them. Many of my stories did not make it into the final draft of my memoir.

 

All of the stories needed to be written, but when I truly dived into crafting the book beyond patchwork stories, I was able to sort through what was necessary to share and what was not.

 

Writing helped me work through much of my trauma and shame, and I now hope that my process of doing so helps others do the same—whether that’s just by reading my book or by inspiring writing themselves.

 

Q: The writer Suzanne Simonetti said of the book, “This story reminds us that love starts at home, and that home resides within.” What do you think of that description, and how was the book’s title chosen?

 

A: That’s the premise of my book and beautifully said by Suzanne. I made homes in substances, people, and behaviors—letting eating disorders and addictions ravage my life. By the end of the book, I learn to make a home in myself with relative freedom from the chains of these vices.

 

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her amazing book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear that creative ideas come with us to make a pact. We can decide if we want to take them on or not, and we have to commit, pull our weight, and make it happen.

 

The idea of making a home in others and myself came to me in a bit of a magical way like that—it just popped into my head one day. I had spent years trying to force a title. It wasn’t until I gave it space and room to percolate that the title came to me, and I promised to see it through in the form of finishing and publishing my memoir.

 

Once the theme of the book came to me, I was able to tie the story together under that framework—making sure each scene, chapter, and character story fit the “home” metaphor.

 

Q: Did you need to do any research to write Make a Home Out of You, or was it mostly written from memory?

 

A: I wrote almost entirely from memory. Fortunately, I had been jotting down notes and stories for years as I was exploring the idea of writing, so I had tons of material to work with. I jotted down notes for at least three years before I fully committed to writing the book.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write the book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: Although each person varies in the degree they feel it, to be human is to feel shame and blame.

 

I carried these with me heavily throughout my life, thinking I was fundamentally broken for much of my time on earth. Through the process of writing my memoir, mixed with the fourth-step work I did in 12-step (writing a moral inventory), I was able to come to a place of forgiveness for myself and others and grow hope for the future.

 

There are moments in my story where I really hurt others. For the longest time, these misgivings made me feel I didn’t deserve love, care, or support. They bruised my self-esteem and had me down on myself. The same goes for the wrongs others caused me—they left me feeling like I somehow deserved or asked for the trauma.

 

Although the process of healing took years, eventually, it began to sink in, and I gradually realized that, damn, I forgive myself. I hope readers can take this away. While much of my story is about what went wrong in my life, the ending is about how I learned to make it all right.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: With my book on the horizon, I’m working on a series of personal essays based on themes from my book and my life that I’m submitting all over the place, hoping to get placed! Some of my recent pieces have been on the topic of leaving Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, modern dating culture, and even a piece on the power of writing community.

 

I do have a fiction book on the back burner. It’s going to be a queer romance. I haven’t decided if I’m going to make it YA or adult yet, but I’m excited to further explore fiction when most of my experience has been memoir. I will pick this back up during NaNoWriMo 2024.

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: Writing memoir is a tremendously vulnerable thing. I’m both thrilled and absolutely terrified. I’ve spilled my deepest darkest secrets in this book. But my hope is that through this vulnerability, people feel less alone in any of their shame and trauma.

 

--Interview with Deborah Kalb