Q&A with Ona Gritz

 

 

 

Ona Gritz is the author of the new memoir Everywhere I Look. It focuses on the impact of her sister's life and violent death. Her other books include the middle grade novel August or Forever. Also a poet, she lives near Philadelphia.

 

Q: Why did you decide to write Everywhere I Look?

 

A: For many years, decades in fact, I didn’t let myself think about my sister Angie or the violent way she died. I felt numb to my grief, and my memories of the short time I got to spend with her had begun to fade.

 

Then, one day, a song she loved came on the radio. “My Baby Loves Lovin’.” It had been a hit, and I’d definitely heard it on oldies stations through the years, but in that particular moment, it struck me that I was the only person in the world who knew she had loved that song.

 

The thought made me burst into tears, and what I thought next was that she deserved to live somewhere other than in my fading memory. That’s when I resolved to learn all I could about her life and to write this book.  

 

Q: How was the book’s title chosen, and what does it signify for you?

 

A: The title comes from a line in the song “Angie” by the Rolling Stones: But Angie, I still love you, baby. Everywhere I look, I see your eyes. 

 

As soon as I conceived of the book, I knew I wanted the title to connect to that song, which had inspired my sister to change her name from Andra to Angie. That line in particular holds a lot of meaning for me because I often see hints of her in other people’s faces.

 

The title works on another level as well. The heart of the book is an investigative thread where I, finally, as an adult, look everywhere I can to learn what my sister went through in her brief life and to bear witness to its violent end.

 

I pursue Angie’s school records and legal documents, seek out long lost relatives and my sister’s friends, comb through the news articles and trial transcripts from the murder case.

 

All the while, I’m also looking deeply at myself: who I was as Angie’s sister, where I failed her, why I felt so distant from my grief. After years of numbness and denial, Angie was finally the focal point of my attention.  

 

Q: The writer Lilly Dancyger said of the book, “Ona Gritz has smashed familial silence to pieces, and pulled the story of her beloved sister out of the wreckage and into the light.” What do you think of that description?

 

A: I love it. In fact, it was at my request that the publisher placed that quote on the front cover.

 

There’s a fierce quality to Lilly’s words that reminds me that what I did in uncovering family secrets, in choosing to be the truth teller in a family comfortable with evasion and lies, was both brave and healing.

 

I’m also truly honored that Lilly Dancyger sees my book in that light. At a time when I was really struggling to find the shape of my story, I took a class with Lilly on memoir structure and, soon after, worked with her as a developmental editor.

 

It was her guidance, not to mention the example of her own beautiful writing, that helped me find both the through-line and the emotional center of Everywhere I Look.

 

Q: What impact did it have on you to write this book, and what do you hope readers take away from it?

 

A: My sister had a tremendously difficult life and much of what I learned about it as I worked on this book was just devastating.

 

At the same time, writing it was a way of being with her again--hearing her voice, recalling her warmth and humor. And, as I uncovered details I never knew, I felt like I was in her confidence again.

 

It was an incredibly healing experience and it stretched me. It helped me grow into the sister I wish I could have been in her lifetime. I would like for readers to come away from the book feeling as though they know and care about her too.

 

Hers is a story of what can happen to our many castaway girls and, by contrast, just how redemptive love and attention can be.

 

Q: What are you working on now?

 

A: I am lucky to have two young adult verse novels coming out later this year from West 44 Books. The first is, in part, a story of sister loss and the second is a historical novel about a New York State reform school where Angie spent time as a teenager. Yes, much of what I write is connected to her in some way!

 

Q: Anything else we should know?

 

A: If you have a book group that would be interested in reading Everywhere I Look, I’d love to take part in the conversation, either virtually or, when possible, in person. You can contact me here.

--Interview with Deborah Kalb